Guillain Barre Syndrome anniversary

It was around this time of the year 3 years ago when your dad had Guillain Barre Syndrome. I usually greet your dad on the anniversary of his diagnosis to commemorate his new life. But this year, we had a bit of a misunderstanding that morning so I just sent a short note to remind him.

So I have this app (TimeHop) that retrieves previous posts to remind you of what you sent out on your social media channels for the previous years. I was reminded of the times when I waited on your dad at the hospital, just wishing the day would pass by faster.

Coincedentally, I also spoke with one of my high school friends who is now a nurse. She told me she'd use our GBS story whenever she has lectures in their hospital to inspire other people. She tells them that faith and prayer are still the best weapons against sickness. When I told your dad about this, he balked and said it was his determination to overcome GBS. Naturally I was shocked and couldn't pin down what I was feeling at that point.

And today, this is my prayer for us...

"Lord, help us not to forget the prayers we once lifted and the miracles that we once begged of You. In this way, help us to be compassionate, humble and thankful for all the blessings that you have given us."

Kids, as time passes, it is easy to take miracles for granted. We tend to attribute healing to the high cost of medicine, or just to the determination to live. Yes, both are integral components. But it is only with God's grace that. Let us not be blinded by our vanity and pride that we lose sight of what God and other people have done for us when we were at our lowest.

After all, if we forget the essence of an occasion, why commemorate it at all?

For Ate

I thank God for your forgiving nature and the gift of your smile. You make mama happy with your quirkiness and disposition.

We call this the no-face face.

Happy face

Angry face

Sad face

Crying face. No tears, but you sniff your nose as added effect.

Crazy face

Crazy face 2. I think you're pulling the skin off your face here. Creepy!

Big smile to end the photo session :)

I love you Ate, my only girl, Bebang, Achi. You are mommy's eternal sunshine.

Our Christmas Break 2014 - Day 1

Finally a break from work. Our company supports a long Christmas break so I take the opportunity to rest and be with family during the holidays. Chos.

But seriously, imposed a.k.a. "highly recommended" or not, I have already set aside key dates where my paid leaves are to be used. Those dates include the Christmas season, Holy Week, the week covering your dad's birthday and our anniversary, and birthdays ofcourse. So leaves for attending school events, watching over you when you are sick, or days when there are tons of errands to do -- those are unpaid leaves that get deducted from my pay. I just wanted to be clear on that. So, God forbid, you play hooky in school, I hope you find time to think of all your dad and I have sacrificed to provide for you. (Oh God, I'm sounding like your lola)

So today is the start of our 2-week long vacation. Yey!

Goals for the next 2 weeks:
- eat healthier in prep for my gall bladder removal surgery soon (will talk about this when I find time to do so)
- move around more to try to lose some pounds
- potty train Ate and Kuya. Kuya since he is turning 6 already (Kuya pls pls pls let's make this work) and Ate in preparation for her starting school in June. Yey!

So what exactly did we do in Day 1?
- Ate and Bunso woke up too early. Thank you kids *insert sarcasm here* so we walked a bit on the streets early in the morning.
- Kuya woke up shortly after we got back from our walk. Diapers were removed and IT IS ON!
- I had my nails done. Yey! Dad had his toenails cleaned as well.
- We slept a lot in the morning. I was able to squeeze in a nap too. I wish it was longer tho. Still, sleep is a treasure and I am grateful to dad for letting me rest.
- Every 2 hours or so, we'd ask Ate and Kuya if they need to go. Kuya will always say no, but will still pee when he is brought inside the restroom.
- We had a stroll in the afternoon too. I think that Kuya can see from the corner of his eye. He reacts whenever we come near parked cars. Hmmm... I see God moving in very very mysterious ways here. I am intrigued and thankful. *note to self: visit another optha soon*
- During our stroll, I wanted to jog/run since I read about these visually impaired kids running in marathons. We tried it a bit and kuya scraped his knee so crap. Maybe tomorrow, we can do it better.
- We watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I tried teaching Ate the incantations but I kept laughing at her because she's so bulol.
- We made gift tags with your thumbmarks. I wanted each of your thumbmark to have a different color but I just had a black stamp pad. Your thumbmarks looked like... uhm.. let me post it here and you tell me what you think. <Read about that story here.>

A full day no? Much to be thankful for and many many funny memories were shared. Thank you for never failing to make Mommy smile. I love you chipmunks.

My daily bread - September 7

Thankful for:

1. Finishing this presentation deck for work yesterday.

2. Reconnecting with old friends last week.

3. Halohalo and a bit of shopping last night at the mall for teamdeves.

4. Getting good sleep last night, relatively sleeping.

5. Lazy Sunday morning because I get to just stay in our bed and watch you all sleeping.

Love you chipmunks! :)

in 2034

Let's recreate these pictures 20 years from now, okay?

You are all just so adoooorable!!

Love you heaps! :)

My daily bread - Aug 21, 2014

These are a daily dose of blessings and smiles that God has strewn along my way. �😊

1. Fast drive to the office. Holiday kasi.

2. Lunch with Tita Anna and Tita Rachel

We even had free tumblers and a mocha slice!

3. Completed "big rocks" at work - the CODP timeline for the next fiscal year, complete with Gantt charts pa ha! :)

4. Shopping with your dad. Thanks to Tito Arnel, who is getting married on Saturday, which is the reason for this shopping spree.

5. Quiet time. As in right now, while I'm drafting this.

Thank You, Lord, for simple pleasures. :)

VER results anniversary 2014

"Dedicate to Me all your oldest children." Exodus 13:2 CEB

It was really fitting that we named you after Jesus, son. You have taught us humility and gratitude, and have been the cause of our joy even at our darkest hour. Happy VER results anniversary, my first love, and blessed be the name of the Lord! :)

I love the way you look at me 😄

Waiting Day 1

I get my CA blood test results after 3 days.

On the first day of waiting (yesterday), I feel so blessed for having your dad. It's nice to feel needed and loved. I know that deep down, he's scared as much as I am, maybe even more, but he's been very supportive and has been my rock these past few days.

We are such big dorks, don't you agree?

I sent him a note, a line from John Green's The Fault in Our Stars (a book turned movie about cancer patients falling in love):

"I'll fight it. I'll fight it for you. Don't you worry about me... I'm okay. I'll find a way to hang around and annoy you for a long time."

And I mean every word.

I love you, chipmunks. Kiss dad for me, okay?

Dear 60-year-old me

Dear Kaye,

First off, this year, our birthday falls on an Easter Day. Isn't it fitting that the Catholic day for rebirth and new beginnings coincide with the year that we turn 30?

How are the kids? I'm sure they are all grownups now, with lives of their own. I sure hope they still call and visit you. How is Darwin? Have you fulfilled your visions of sitting at the front porch together and just watch/make fun of people as they walk by?

Right now, the kids are 5, 2 and 3 months. Do you remember them at this age? God, they are a handful! You can never work from home properly, the house is topsy turvy and someone is almost always shouting. But you know what? We got ourselves the most adorable and lovable right here. More on that later. Let me first tell you about our day in 2014.

As far back as I can remember, I had always been excited for our birthday. I look forward to greeting ourself at exactly 5:05pm, the time specified on our birth certificate. But two years ago, a little baby girl changed all that when she decided to grace the world with her presence one day before our birthday. Just like that, April 20 ceased to be our birthday. It turned into an I'm-so-tired-from-all-the-birthday-preps-the-day-before-I-just-want-to-sleep-the-whole-day kind of day. Because April 19, 2012, Dahlia Felize was born and she was amazing!

This year, April 19, we planned a small celebration for the princess. Family and few of Iya's friends shared the spaghetti, chicken lollipops and hotdogs that Darwin all cooked (love you pre!). Black Saturday pa yan ha. So come Sunday, Easter, and our birthday, we basically ate leftovers and went to Mass in the afternoon.

I had all but forgotten our day, save for the 60+ people who greeted us on Facebook (remember that?). And it made me think of what do I really wish for on this day. I have 3 beautiful and loving children. I have a family who keeps me grounded. I have a career that I love and hate at the same time. No one is really THAT sick. And although we have some financial hiccups along the way, we manage. I realize God has blessed me with more than I can truly deserve. I find it embarassing to God if I can not even share the blessings he has showered upon us.

So, going back to you, old lady. I hope you enjoyed life. You should have tried to be more friendly. You should have been brave and taken risks. You should have loved more, given more, sacrificed more. Remember that love is a verb, not a feeling. Be thankful for all the blessings and learn to forgive the hurts you might encounter. I hope our life has been full and you had been grateful.

Please give my kisses to the kids and to the grandkids, if we have them by now. Give my kisses to Darwin; he has his faults but I know he loves us and we love him dearly.

May God continue to smile upon our family. I love you, future me. :)

Breastfeeding Diaries: Blessed Be

Hello from the Eastwood Diana (i.e. Lactating) Room!

Look how much milk we got this morning! I can almost feel God smiling down on me because He knows how giddy He made me feel with this blessing.

5.25 oz of liquid gold, beybeh! :)

What did we do differently this morning? Hmmm.. I was so tired and sleepy last night that I didn't get to switch sides in the middle of the night. Thus, Miko only latched on my left boob throughout the night. This morning, my right boob was so engorged so I decided to latch Miko, still on the left, while I pumped the right. I got 3 oz! Apart from that, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary so hey it is a great surprise and a good way to start our day.

And then... surprise surprise! Another 5.5 oz this afternoon!

It's official. God is making me lambing with all of these blessings. :)

One more thing I did differently -- I prayed for my supply. Told God I wanted to be able to produce enough for Miko, as well as for Kuya, who is having lung health problems recently. I pray my milk strengthen you both and give you the nutrients that you need to grow and get healed.

And I wanted to experience donating milk too. But we're still saving enough frozen milk stash for that, so let's talk more about that on another post, m'kay?

So Iya, I hope you breastfeed your child, when you have one. I will support you all the way should you decide to go on that journey. Tell me all about it okay?

And you two boys, let's drink to more milk!

I love you, my musketeers! :)

Dear reader-who-is-not-my-child, this one's for you

Just last night, I chanced upon the Statistics section of Blogger and found out that we have readers from different parts of the world!

Our demographics. How cool is that?

Numbers might seem small for other bloggers, but then again, I never really intended to write to an audience apart from my kids. It was such a nice surprise seeing this numbers.

So thank you, спасибо, danke, terima kasih, merci, dank u, спасибі, and 남쪽에 감사합니다 to everyone who serendipitiously chanced upon this blog. I pray blessings to be showered upon you and your family. Please send a kiss to your mother for me, whether she may be your biological mom or your personal maternal figure because all mothers deserve and affection for all the sacrifices and love they shower their family.

Happy reading! :)

Breastfeeding diaries: Bountiful providence

Thank You, Lord for blessing us with abundance this morning! :) I pray that I may be able to share this blessing to other kids soon.

My sanity break

Dear Miko, Today marks the first day that I pump milk for you from our office nursing area. It feels weird how I always wanted to experience staying in this room and pumping milk, yet I never had the chance until you came. Thank you, sweetheart, for giving me the honor of feeding you. Thank you for these short periods of sanity, when I can just detach myself from all the work and just concentrate on God's providence through the bountiness of my breasts. Our breastfeeding journey is not easy, but very fulfilling to me. I love you so much! :)

Random thoughts on Appreciation

Lately, I appreciate -- - your dad for his unbelievable patience when I was in labor with Miko. From when my labor started in the emergency room until after I gave birth and couldn't move much, he was there and assisting me. Of all three times that I gave birth, this was the most patient I have seen him. - your lolo and lola. Since I gave birth to Miko, they were very supportive especially in my decision to breastfeed. Lolo hasn't been cooking much before I gave birth, but now he makes sure that I always have soup, with malunggay if possible, to increase my milk supply. - Kuya Aki and Ate Iya for welcoming Miko and loving him right from the start. Ate wants to kiss Miko all the time, and Kuya has never been pasaway so Mommy can tend to Miko. Give everyone a kiss after you read this okay? Let them know that mommy loves them. :)

Today's prayer

Thank You, Lord, for using our lives to inspire others to renew their faith in You. May You help us to use these situations, not to uplift ourselves, but Your name. May You never let us belittle what works You have done in us, but instead allow us to remain to be childlike and dependent on You.

I claim happiness and love and faith for our family, in Your name. Amen.

Loving dad

I just wanted to share how I appreciate Daddy this last week.

You see, with dad, I always have to get up and prepare first in the morning on weekdays. True, I do not wake up to the alarm; it is dad who wakes me up. But he sleeps some more and lets me eat breakfast, take a bath and do my morning routine before he gets up and does his. Every workday, this is the scenario.

My schedule at work had become very erratic last week -- sometimes requiring me to go to work early, sometimes to go home very very late. I told dad I need to go to work earlier and couldn't wait for him anymore. I said when I'm done getting ready, I'll go ahead without him.

Maybe because this is the only time we have to ourselves, or because we never get the chance to talk much, but I realize that dad tries his best to catch up and still go to the office with me, no matter how early I say I'll be leaving.

At the end of the day, he still waits for me. Except, of course, on days when I'm really really late, he goes ahead so he can be with you guys.

For the extra effort in making sure we still find time for each other, I love your dad more and more.

Take care of your dad, even when he gets old and (God forbid!) cranky, alright?

Love you both so much!

Lolo and lola

I admire lolo and lola for being so gracious amidst the ruckus that dad and I had this week.

I know they were hurt with what happened, but they didn't meddle. It takes trust in your dad, strength in holding back, and wisdom and faith in knowing that everything will turn out okay in the end.

They served food and forced dad and me to eat together, and in small gestures such as that, I know, that even without words, they were trying to patch things up. I am relieved that they did not just blindly take my side, and that we did not have that awkward air in the house for long.

For these and much much more, I am grateful and feel extremely blessed for my mom and dad. Love them immensely when you grow up.

Some notes on jealousy

If you have a problem with jealousy, you have a problem with God, not the other person.

What you have is because of God's grace. You might think, it's because of your strength or your education. But the moment God takes away that grace, all you have will be worth nothing. For example, you might think it's your strength making you great in sports, but the moment God takes away that grace and you get injured, you get nothing.

Jealousy doesn't mean God is not good to us, it only means we are not grateful for God's blessings

Your inheritance have been secured. You can rejoice with the blessing of others because you are confident that your portion is already waiting for you.

Happy mommy :)

Hi Kids!

I am extremely grateful to God for your inquisitiveness. :) I wish I could just show both of you my memories of you tinkering with stuff, memories that will be forever etched in my mind.

Thankful

I just want to share that I feel so thankful to God for a family-filled long weekend. May you never tire, sweethearts, of spending time with daddy & mommy. Love you both so much! :)