My schedule

Because I'm exhausted after a day's work, I tend to sleep at 10/11pm with Miko and Ate. Since there are some things that I need to finish for work, I have dad wake me up at 1am. At 3am, Miko starts crying for milk so I get back into bed until 5am - or 6am if I find it difficult to get up.

Did I mention that I love you all? I look forward to when you have your own rooms hehehe but I know I wouldn't want to miss your childhood too :)

I can't wait for our getaway this weekend :)

Guillain Barre Syndrome anniversary

It was around this time of the year 3 years ago when your dad had Guillain Barre Syndrome. I usually greet your dad on the anniversary of his diagnosis to commemorate his new life. But this year, we had a bit of a misunderstanding that morning so I just sent a short note to remind him.

So I have this app (TimeHop) that retrieves previous posts to remind you of what you sent out on your social media channels for the previous years. I was reminded of the times when I waited on your dad at the hospital, just wishing the day would pass by faster.

Coincedentally, I also spoke with one of my high school friends who is now a nurse. She told me she'd use our GBS story whenever she has lectures in their hospital to inspire other people. She tells them that faith and prayer are still the best weapons against sickness. When I told your dad about this, he balked and said it was his determination to overcome GBS. Naturally I was shocked and couldn't pin down what I was feeling at that point.

And today, this is my prayer for us...

"Lord, help us not to forget the prayers we once lifted and the miracles that we once begged of You. In this way, help us to be compassionate, humble and thankful for all the blessings that you have given us."

Kids, as time passes, it is easy to take miracles for granted. We tend to attribute healing to the high cost of medicine, or just to the determination to live. Yes, both are integral components. But it is only with God's grace that. Let us not be blinded by our vanity and pride that we lose sight of what God and other people have done for us when we were at our lowest.

After all, if we forget the essence of an occasion, why commemorate it at all?

Aylan Kurdi

Dear Aylan (and Galip), I would rather look at this picture and see your happy faces than your recent, more famous picture. I have no strong political stands, and am not up to date with local, much more foreign news. But I am a mother, and my heart weeps seeing your lifeless body being washed ashore.

My only comfort is that God now has two new angels in his care. May you rest in peace.

Past two weeks in pictures

We've done a looot of things in the past two weeks that I wasn't able to get a chance and write all about them. Here is a summary in no particular order because I am lazy that way.

1. Ate made a lot of paintings.

Started with just stamp pads and ink. 

Progressed to poster paint. Used q-tips and fingers here to spread the paint.

We also used old toothbrushes and drinking straws to create other effects.

Artist at work. Ate enjoys painting so much.

Miko tried his hand at painting too. Didn't like it yet. Had to force him a bit to make a hand print hehehe

2. We also made a lot of yummy food!

We made chocolate chip cookies and added food coloring. Called them dinosaur eggs :)

Made no-bake banana-toffee cake

We also made smores this week. Ooohhh too delish. 

3. Since there are talks of a major earthquake coming soon (fault line passes near our house), we also talked about earthquake safety and the concept of drop-cover-hold. Good job ate for taking it to heart. Praying that God shields us from harm, and if it it inevitable, that I am with you when something happens.

4. We made sensory bags and bottles this week. First were bottles with water and oil and some small items we put in that float. That didn't end well. We also made one of constarched cooked until it had the consistency of Vaseline. Added food coloring ang put into ziplock bags. Popped out of the bags after a day, so good thing it was not costly to do that.

In short, we are hit and miss on the sensory bags. But that won't stop me from trying!

This is oil and food coloring. I can spend hours playing with it. Miko and Ate liked it some.

5. We also visited our home in Calamba, which is due to be completed next month. The target completion date was set after much delay, so I'm just hoping we can spend Christmas there and have it rented out by January.

Kuya as the foreman

After the site inspection, a quick swim

6. Ninong Cons gave Iya a Tangled-inspired Play Doh set. We gave Rapunzel braided hair in different colors because why not? :)

7. Mommy and Miko attended Hakab Na 2015 at Alabang Town Center. We were the very first to register at the site! After quickly signing our name, we went to Starbucks for a quick breakfast. I ordered a caffeine-free chocolate chip frappe so Miko can share, but I think he wanted to drink it all for himself so I had to hide it and give him water instead.

He loved it! Almost emptied my cup.

His first Starbucks experience. Isn't he the cutest?

We also participated in a demo for Kindermuzik

Daddy and Iya, who made us hatid, also went on their own date.

There we are!

I had so much with you guys! Let's do more things together okay?

When Dad found out

Your dad and I were talking finances the other night and guess what! He found out about the donation I told you about here!

Turned out he was using my iPad and my Facebook messenger was logged in to that device too. So dad was able to see the exchange between me and my classmate. We were talking about some payables that were due and how we don't have extra money to eat outside always, and here was how the rest of the conversation went.

D: Di naman ako galit no, pero kasi akala ko Messenger ko yung nakalagay sa iPad. May dinonatean ka? Para saan yun? 

K: Ah oo, para sa mga bata yun na taga-Buscalan. 

D: Okay pero di ba masyadong malaki? (I gave an amount that is equivalent to us going out on a date for movies and a not-so fancy meal.) 

K: Di naman tsaka one-time lang naman yun.

At this point, we/he decided not to push the topic further and shifted the conversation to something else. You may also note that I did not give too much information on the outreach. I was tempted to give him the link to the post I made! Hahaha. But knowing your dad, that would lead to more questions and me feeling like I was being interrogated for putting someone's needs above our own.

What was running through my mind was that we are so blessed materially more than the kids of Buscalan. Do we have problems with money? Yes. But these are problems that we can still address or put off. Remember: no one is too poor that he cannot give. I want you to remember this as you grow up.

So, anyway, let's see if this topic comes up again between your dad and I. Praying for a generous heart for you and your future spouses.

God's persistence

So I had a dry spell again, and now I'm back writing letters to you, guys. :)

Last May, one of my classmates from high school set up an outreach program for the children of Buscalan, which is a small village North of the Philippines. This classmate was a close friend in 2nd year high school, but kinda drifted apart after that year. From his Facebook posts in the past years/months, I learned that he is battling depression, and that makes me so proud of him that he has found his calling with this outreach program. He plans to distribute school supplies and health kits to the kids, as well as have a short program with snacks.

I reached out to him ofcourse. Unfortunately, I could not give actual supplies nor go with him on the trip, so I asked for his bank account so I can share a small amount that could hopefully still help. Again, this was back in May.

Well your dad and I aren't really ideal models of financial stability, and you know how he felt about charities. In short, I kept putting off the donation mainly because we were running short of funds. Also because I didn't have the guts to tell your dad that I'm setting aside money for kids in a faraway village.

Fast forward to yesterday. Lola and I brought M to your pedia for his vaccine. I didn't feel the need to check his baby book but I knew I had to set aside Php1600 for vaccine. I even sent a text message to the pedia earlier that day to ask what was the vaccine worth Php1600 so he can bring a vial for M later that night. He said it was for MMR and that was it so we brought M. Turned out M already had his MMR so we just did a well-baby check up and was advised that next vaccine is for M's 5-in-1 shot, which costs Php3000 and is due 3 weeks from now.

So yey I have extra money and I was thinking finally I could go out and eat more at work. I could also save the Php1600 so I could just worry about the rest of the cost of the 5-in-1 vaccine later. But surprise surprise! God had other plans! Here was how God spoke to me --

1. Suddenly I remembered that a few days back, I read a post from Ptr. Joseph Bonifacio talking about how we should guard our hearts. He also speaks of giving away (i.e. share) material possessions because of generosity and because this is what is good for our hearts.

2. My classmate posted a number of items that they still need for the outreach.

3. Even after seeing #2 above, I did not quite get it. I was thinking maybe my classmate already forgot about my pledge and I no longer need to fulfil it. Then this came today - this is a post on a Verse of the Day application on my phone -- 

1 Corinthians 10:13

Like God was telling me not to be tempted to back out on my promise.

4. You know how God gave me a "way out" as He promised in #3? You see sometimes, I transfer a small amount from my salary to my savings account. This is done before all the budget plans for the payout are made. The money almost always get used up to make up for shortages in the budget plan, e.g. we ate out or we made pasyal, etc. For this payout, I actually forgot all about the money. Your dad and I were so frugal that halfway along the payperiod, the money was still intact! I believe this is God providing for us, reminding us that if we are bent on providing for other people, He will provide for us. Dont't you think so?

5. To cap it all off, the Responsorial Psalm and gospel for today's mass is all about God's providence too. The gospel was about the miracle of the loaves and fishes, while the psalm is shown below --

So, yes, God. There is no denying Your message to me. I sent the money the same night and sent a note to my classmate.

I pray the outreach will be a success and that they will be able to connect with a lot of children. I pray for the children that they be inspired to achieve their dreams and that they get encouragement despite whatever struggle they are currently experiencing in their lives.

Amen.

Choose well

A person who chooses hate will always find reasons to be angry.
A person who chooses contentment will always find reasons to be thankful.

Mama's heart

Mothers' hearts are like puzzle pieces. With every child, we give each one a piece. But no matter how many times we give out a part of ourselves, even when we are worn out and tired at the end of the day, a single smile from our loved ones can complete us and make us whole again.

Happy birthday Ate!

Happy 3rd birthday Ate! You are truly God's gift to mommy and daddy. May you continue to be cheerful, witty, and loving to your brothers. Keep in mind that you are always loved. 😚

for Miko

for Kuya

Magnetic Poetry Kits

Dad got me magnetic poetry sets for my birthday! These are random words printed with magnetic backing that you use to make poems with. It's a very good exercise for the brain, especially if you're terrified of having Alzheimer's disease like me.

Here is how one of the kits look like as captured by Instagram user @pajammy

I sent a quick shout out to your dad via Instagram.

Then my OC-ness ensured and I just had to sort them by letter into their 3 boxes. Hahaha

Thank you so much Daddy! I love you so much! :)

Baking life lessons

When life gives you over whipped cream that curdled, find a buttercream recipe instead.

Quick bits

I have been sooo delinquent in my posts! We have been busy with working, baking, searching for properties for Tito Deck and a whole lot more.

So let me just throw out a number of recipes and quick updates in the succeeding posts, and I will try to revisit them as we go along mmkay?

I love you all!!! :)

Blood and Fainting Spells

I have always wanted to donate blood. When I was in college, I kept trying to donate but I was told that I was ineligible because I was underweight (those were the days hahaha)

When I started working and gained a LOT of pounds, there was one time that I was able to join a blood donation drive sponsored by the company. Our whole team donated over lunch and all except me felt sluggish and tired after that. I was feeling normal, maybe even hyped as it was my first time after many previous attempts.

Our office was a good 15 minute walk to SM Megamall. Your dad and I meet there after work so we can ride the van home together.

So after my work, I headed to Megamall to wait for your dad. But when I arrived there, I was feeling faint and very weak. I had to sit at one of the al fresco tables of a fastfood chain to catch my breath. I was able to send a quick text to your dad, telling him how I feel, but I felt that I was already about to collapse so I told a lady sitting at the table next to me to please call the guard. I do not want to faint without anyone looking after me and my things as I had my phone and other valuables with me.

The lady did call the guard, who came in rushing with a wheelchair to bring me to the mall clinic. At first, I just plopped myself down and brought my things. But as soon as he started wheeling me through the mall, it was as if bumalik ang ulirat ko. I do not want to be pushed on a wheelchair, nakakahiya! I told him I could walk, but ofcourse he's not buying it.

We reached the clinic and a nurse started asking me what happened. I don't remember much of what happened here, except that I felt so embarassed being in the middle of a mall on a wheelchair!

A few minutes had gone and your dad arrived at the mall clinic to come pick me up. I was already okay at that time.

Since then, I never tried to give blood donations anymore. I still believe that it is fulfilling though, and that everyone should do it at least once in their life.

Have you donated blood recently? Any embarassing moments from that? Tell me all about it. I love you kids! :)

Routines and hormones

I had my period today so I was feeling hormonal, read: easily distressed.

Your dad has started eating dinner and Miko kept coming up to him. I wasn't able to get Miko from dad because Ate wanted to comb my hair and wouldn't let me stand up from my chair in front of the TV. In short, dad got mad because his "nightly routine" got effed up.

He always says "may routine na kasi ako pagdating sa bahay" and that routine shouldn't be swayed. Maybe that's my problem. I couldn't understand routines because I don't have one. Maybe if I had a routine, I wouldn't have to eat while spoonfeeding 2 kids and breastfeeding another one all the same time. Maybe if I had a routine, I could have more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.

Maybe routines and parenting don't mix. Routines suck. Hormonal imbalance sucks. I wish I slept earlier last night to prepare me for this day.

Sorry for the rant. I really just wanted to let it out. In retrospect, I think I'm really just jealous of how your dad can manage a routine, find time for his games and interests, etc. Not that I'm regreting the time spent with you. I just wish I had more time for me, to learn, to be quiet for more than 10 minutes, to bathe and poop without being rushed. Maybe things will get better when you're older and you can do more things on your own.

Who wouldn't have a heart attack? Disclaimer: more precarious positions were not photographed due to transient hypertension attacks.

I love you kids. I love your dad too. He just gets on my nerves sometimes. Some times more frequently than normal. Hay. But I love him nevertheless.

MacGyver and Sustaining Breastfeeding

I had my gall bladder removed last week. Unfortunately, I underestimated the procedure and thought I could go home after 24 hours. Wrong.

Because of this glitch, I only packed x number of bottles in preparation for the stay at the hospital. I figured I'd pump every 3 or 4 hours and then ask my anesthesiologist when can I resume breastfeeding. From our breastfeeding support group site, mothers were saying that women who underwent Cesarian Section delivery were allowed to breastfeed immediately. Seems logical. But I still had to confirm to ease my worries.

Remember I was pumping every 3-4 hours? Wrong move! Because of the increased time in between sessions, I was getting more milk and filling up my bottles faster than intended. By the time I was about to go to the operating room, I have filled up all the bottles that we brought. Uh oh.

When the anesthesiologist arrived in the Operating Room, I asked him if he was going to give me the same drug as what is used during childbirth. It wasn't. He said to wait for 24 hours before I actually breastfeed.

We waited, pumped and dumped (what a waste of milk, but better safe than sorry). After 24 hours, what to do now that we don't have bottles anymore? We thought that maybe Dad can go back home to get my milk storage bags. Kaya lang, I was really weak after the operation and needed help even with my personal businesses. So dad being away for more than 20 minutes does not seem feasible at that time.

That's when we shifted to MacGyver mode (this is the stuff of the 80s to 90s era hahaha) There was a nearby grocery store where dad bought zip-lock sandwich bags. It was the smallest size that he could find.

Zip-lock sandwich bags?? But these are...

• Not sterilized. May contaminate milk. Damn it, we are no longer sterilizing the bottles that Miko use at home. Pwede na yan.
• Not freezer safe. May rip when placed in freezer. We'll double up the bags. Pwede na yan.
• Not double zipped. May drip. Doble naman ang bags. Pwede na yan.

In the end, it was really pwede na since we had no other alternative. We even had different styles in packing the milk.

Dad was laying out the inner bag flatly inside the other one, then pour the milk into the two bags.

I poured the milk into one bag first, then jimmy the bag into the second one.

And that's how we survived sustaining breastfeeding even with no bottles. We were able to bring home about 900ml of milk for Miko! Thank God!

Want to hear more stories about my lap chole? I'll tell you in the next posts. :) I love you!

Finally, chocobutternut

Your dad and I had a cold war after I got home from my laparoscopic cholecystectomy. Paano ba naman, my first day coming from operation and he was out of the house already to get gifts from his friends. I felt like he was rushing out to get away from taking care of me. Okay, sorry for being self-centered, but during the drive home, I was telling him that I didn't need him there, but I want him to be. More for moral support than physical needs.

We were giving each other the silent treatment for a few days. Until he came home and brought this...

Chocobutternut!!

And I just caved in and remembered why I love him. Remember why? Read about it here.

For Ate

I thank God for your forgiving nature and the gift of your smile. You make mama happy with your quirkiness and disposition.

We call this the no-face face.

Happy face

Angry face

Sad face

Crying face. No tears, but you sniff your nose as added effect.

Crazy face

Crazy face 2. I think you're pulling the skin off your face here. Creepy!

Big smile to end the photo session :)

I love you Ate, my only girl, Bebang, Achi. You are mommy's eternal sunshine.

2015 Resolutions

I never really meant any of my previous New Year's Resolutions. This year, I want to really focus on them with an aim to end 2015 as a better person. Here it goes!

Live healthier. Less food portions. Healthier food choices. Be more active, at least walk around more.

Serve more. Serve dad, mom, darwin, kids, Franco, and even the help more. Serve God more, too.
I had kind of a feeling that we rely too much on lolo and lola to manage the household. Since lola is leaving for SG for a few months, I think it is a good training ground for us to be more independent and more responsible when it comes to raising you kids.
I hope I will be able to make you feel that your dad and me are always here for you. That in our family, you will always be secure and loved.

Strive for continuous improvement. Learn a new skill, or improve program processes. This is mostly grounded on my work tasks.

Save for the kids. The bible says "It isn’t the children’s responsibility to save up for their parents but parents for children" (2 Corinthians 12:14 CEB) and I want to honor that. These first years of our marriage has been a bit selfish for your dad and me. I want to rectify that. I am praying that God heals us from vanity and pride so we can focus on preparing for your future.

There you go. Four major points to keep in mind for 2015. Do you make New Year's Resolutions? Let me know so I can remind you when you forget.

You may also want to read about my other prayers for our family.

Buffet at Chef Laudico Guevarra's

Days before Christmas, your Dad and I went back to Manila (more on that on another post). Since it is time away from you (haha), we decided to also make plans for a quick dinner date at Chef Laudico Guevarra's.

I'm not much of a food critic. Food is food to me and it takes little to impress me. My baseline is your dad's cooking (naks!). I just wanted to share what I ate since we're removing my gallbladder in a few weeks, anyway. Hahaha. This will at least give it one last hurrah.

So anyway, we were too early for a 7:30pm reservation. We came at around 5:30pm and the current batch of guests being served were due to end at 6pm. We were told to wait for our reservation time, otherwise we will have to go at 6pm, too. 

No worries since their garden had plenty of seats to lounge in. We used the time to take pictures of the place.

Your dad doesn't like waiting. Keep that in mind.

So festive!

I usually start on Japanese food. But since this is a Filipino-food buffet, let's start with dessert! Meringue, palitaw and red velvet cupcakes.

Salad, lumpiang sariwa, and 2 other dishes that I forgot already.

Back to sweets! Maja blanca, macaroon, carrot cake and leche flan

Adobo rice, something, something, fish mayonesa (which inspired our Media Noche menu last New Year's Eve), and shrimps

2 kinds of pizza, lechon and lechon kawali

Dessert again! Meringue anf chocolate crinkles

Vanilla and ube ice cream

Salad, lumpiang sariwa and squid

I see you! Your dad was teasing me for all the fatty foods that I got.

Lechon! Sorry, gallbladder.

I think I was up to my neck in food. I was so full! Chef Laudico Guevarra's is so far the most value-for-money buffet restaurant that I've been to. This is actually the first buffet restaurant that costs less than Php500 that I have been to but all the food that I've tried tastes so good. (Rates are: Php399 for Mon-Fri lunch, Php499 for Mon-Thurs dinner and Php599 for Fri dinner to Sun dinner --- subject to VAT)

We will definitely be back at Guevarra's. Dad and I were already thinking of an event that we can celebrate there hahaha

Have you tried it? Bring me back there please! I love you!

You may also want to read about your dad's powers