growing up

March 5, 2022

Today, Miko said he prefers not to kiss on the lips anymore. Told him I feel sad but I respect his choice.

My little boy is all grown up. ❤

Guillain Barre Syndrome anniversary

It was around this time of the year 3 years ago when your dad had Guillain Barre Syndrome. I usually greet your dad on the anniversary of his diagnosis to commemorate his new life. But this year, we had a bit of a misunderstanding that morning so I just sent a short note to remind him.

So I have this app (TimeHop) that retrieves previous posts to remind you of what you sent out on your social media channels for the previous years. I was reminded of the times when I waited on your dad at the hospital, just wishing the day would pass by faster.

Coincedentally, I also spoke with one of my high school friends who is now a nurse. She told me she'd use our GBS story whenever she has lectures in their hospital to inspire other people. She tells them that faith and prayer are still the best weapons against sickness. When I told your dad about this, he balked and said it was his determination to overcome GBS. Naturally I was shocked and couldn't pin down what I was feeling at that point.

And today, this is my prayer for us...

"Lord, help us not to forget the prayers we once lifted and the miracles that we once begged of You. In this way, help us to be compassionate, humble and thankful for all the blessings that you have given us."

Kids, as time passes, it is easy to take miracles for granted. We tend to attribute healing to the high cost of medicine, or just to the determination to live. Yes, both are integral components. But it is only with God's grace that. Let us not be blinded by our vanity and pride that we lose sight of what God and other people have done for us when we were at our lowest.

After all, if we forget the essence of an occasion, why commemorate it at all?

When Dad found out

Your dad and I were talking finances the other night and guess what! He found out about the donation I told you about here!

Turned out he was using my iPad and my Facebook messenger was logged in to that device too. So dad was able to see the exchange between me and my classmate. We were talking about some payables that were due and how we don't have extra money to eat outside always, and here was how the rest of the conversation went.

D: Di naman ako galit no, pero kasi akala ko Messenger ko yung nakalagay sa iPad. May dinonatean ka? Para saan yun? 

K: Ah oo, para sa mga bata yun na taga-Buscalan. 

D: Okay pero di ba masyadong malaki? (I gave an amount that is equivalent to us going out on a date for movies and a not-so fancy meal.) 

K: Di naman tsaka one-time lang naman yun.

At this point, we/he decided not to push the topic further and shifted the conversation to something else. You may also note that I did not give too much information on the outreach. I was tempted to give him the link to the post I made! Hahaha. But knowing your dad, that would lead to more questions and me feeling like I was being interrogated for putting someone's needs above our own.

What was running through my mind was that we are so blessed materially more than the kids of Buscalan. Do we have problems with money? Yes. But these are problems that we can still address or put off. Remember: no one is too poor that he cannot give. I want you to remember this as you grow up.

So, anyway, let's see if this topic comes up again between your dad and I. Praying for a generous heart for you and your future spouses.

God's persistence

So I had a dry spell again, and now I'm back writing letters to you, guys. :)

Last May, one of my classmates from high school set up an outreach program for the children of Buscalan, which is a small village North of the Philippines. This classmate was a close friend in 2nd year high school, but kinda drifted apart after that year. From his Facebook posts in the past years/months, I learned that he is battling depression, and that makes me so proud of him that he has found his calling with this outreach program. He plans to distribute school supplies and health kits to the kids, as well as have a short program with snacks.

I reached out to him ofcourse. Unfortunately, I could not give actual supplies nor go with him on the trip, so I asked for his bank account so I can share a small amount that could hopefully still help. Again, this was back in May.

Well your dad and I aren't really ideal models of financial stability, and you know how he felt about charities. In short, I kept putting off the donation mainly because we were running short of funds. Also because I didn't have the guts to tell your dad that I'm setting aside money for kids in a faraway village.

Fast forward to yesterday. Lola and I brought M to your pedia for his vaccine. I didn't feel the need to check his baby book but I knew I had to set aside Php1600 for vaccine. I even sent a text message to the pedia earlier that day to ask what was the vaccine worth Php1600 so he can bring a vial for M later that night. He said it was for MMR and that was it so we brought M. Turned out M already had his MMR so we just did a well-baby check up and was advised that next vaccine is for M's 5-in-1 shot, which costs Php3000 and is due 3 weeks from now.

So yey I have extra money and I was thinking finally I could go out and eat more at work. I could also save the Php1600 so I could just worry about the rest of the cost of the 5-in-1 vaccine later. But surprise surprise! God had other plans! Here was how God spoke to me --

1. Suddenly I remembered that a few days back, I read a post from Ptr. Joseph Bonifacio talking about how we should guard our hearts. He also speaks of giving away (i.e. share) material possessions because of generosity and because this is what is good for our hearts.

2. My classmate posted a number of items that they still need for the outreach.

3. Even after seeing #2 above, I did not quite get it. I was thinking maybe my classmate already forgot about my pledge and I no longer need to fulfil it. Then this came today - this is a post on a Verse of the Day application on my phone -- 

1 Corinthians 10:13

Like God was telling me not to be tempted to back out on my promise.

4. You know how God gave me a "way out" as He promised in #3? You see sometimes, I transfer a small amount from my salary to my savings account. This is done before all the budget plans for the payout are made. The money almost always get used up to make up for shortages in the budget plan, e.g. we ate out or we made pasyal, etc. For this payout, I actually forgot all about the money. Your dad and I were so frugal that halfway along the payperiod, the money was still intact! I believe this is God providing for us, reminding us that if we are bent on providing for other people, He will provide for us. Dont't you think so?

5. To cap it all off, the Responsorial Psalm and gospel for today's mass is all about God's providence too. The gospel was about the miracle of the loaves and fishes, while the psalm is shown below --

So, yes, God. There is no denying Your message to me. I sent the money the same night and sent a note to my classmate.

I pray the outreach will be a success and that they will be able to connect with a lot of children. I pray for the children that they be inspired to achieve their dreams and that they get encouragement despite whatever struggle they are currently experiencing in their lives.

Amen.

Blood and Fainting Spells

I have always wanted to donate blood. When I was in college, I kept trying to donate but I was told that I was ineligible because I was underweight (those were the days hahaha)

When I started working and gained a LOT of pounds, there was one time that I was able to join a blood donation drive sponsored by the company. Our whole team donated over lunch and all except me felt sluggish and tired after that. I was feeling normal, maybe even hyped as it was my first time after many previous attempts.

Our office was a good 15 minute walk to SM Megamall. Your dad and I meet there after work so we can ride the van home together.

So after my work, I headed to Megamall to wait for your dad. But when I arrived there, I was feeling faint and very weak. I had to sit at one of the al fresco tables of a fastfood chain to catch my breath. I was able to send a quick text to your dad, telling him how I feel, but I felt that I was already about to collapse so I told a lady sitting at the table next to me to please call the guard. I do not want to faint without anyone looking after me and my things as I had my phone and other valuables with me.

The lady did call the guard, who came in rushing with a wheelchair to bring me to the mall clinic. At first, I just plopped myself down and brought my things. But as soon as he started wheeling me through the mall, it was as if bumalik ang ulirat ko. I do not want to be pushed on a wheelchair, nakakahiya! I told him I could walk, but ofcourse he's not buying it.

We reached the clinic and a nurse started asking me what happened. I don't remember much of what happened here, except that I felt so embarassed being in the middle of a mall on a wheelchair!

A few minutes had gone and your dad arrived at the mall clinic to come pick me up. I was already okay at that time.

Since then, I never tried to give blood donations anymore. I still believe that it is fulfilling though, and that everyone should do it at least once in their life.

Have you donated blood recently? Any embarassing moments from that? Tell me all about it. I love you kids! :)

Routines and hormones

I had my period today so I was feeling hormonal, read: easily distressed.

Your dad has started eating dinner and Miko kept coming up to him. I wasn't able to get Miko from dad because Ate wanted to comb my hair and wouldn't let me stand up from my chair in front of the TV. In short, dad got mad because his "nightly routine" got effed up.

He always says "may routine na kasi ako pagdating sa bahay" and that routine shouldn't be swayed. Maybe that's my problem. I couldn't understand routines because I don't have one. Maybe if I had a routine, I wouldn't have to eat while spoonfeeding 2 kids and breastfeeding another one all the same time. Maybe if I had a routine, I could have more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.

Maybe routines and parenting don't mix. Routines suck. Hormonal imbalance sucks. I wish I slept earlier last night to prepare me for this day.

Sorry for the rant. I really just wanted to let it out. In retrospect, I think I'm really just jealous of how your dad can manage a routine, find time for his games and interests, etc. Not that I'm regreting the time spent with you. I just wish I had more time for me, to learn, to be quiet for more than 10 minutes, to bathe and poop without being rushed. Maybe things will get better when you're older and you can do more things on your own.

Who wouldn't have a heart attack? Disclaimer: more precarious positions were not photographed due to transient hypertension attacks.

I love you kids. I love your dad too. He just gets on my nerves sometimes. Some times more frequently than normal. Hay. But I love him nevertheless.

MacGyver and Sustaining Breastfeeding

I had my gall bladder removed last week. Unfortunately, I underestimated the procedure and thought I could go home after 24 hours. Wrong.

Because of this glitch, I only packed x number of bottles in preparation for the stay at the hospital. I figured I'd pump every 3 or 4 hours and then ask my anesthesiologist when can I resume breastfeeding. From our breastfeeding support group site, mothers were saying that women who underwent Cesarian Section delivery were allowed to breastfeed immediately. Seems logical. But I still had to confirm to ease my worries.

Remember I was pumping every 3-4 hours? Wrong move! Because of the increased time in between sessions, I was getting more milk and filling up my bottles faster than intended. By the time I was about to go to the operating room, I have filled up all the bottles that we brought. Uh oh.

When the anesthesiologist arrived in the Operating Room, I asked him if he was going to give me the same drug as what is used during childbirth. It wasn't. He said to wait for 24 hours before I actually breastfeed.

We waited, pumped and dumped (what a waste of milk, but better safe than sorry). After 24 hours, what to do now that we don't have bottles anymore? We thought that maybe Dad can go back home to get my milk storage bags. Kaya lang, I was really weak after the operation and needed help even with my personal businesses. So dad being away for more than 20 minutes does not seem feasible at that time.

That's when we shifted to MacGyver mode (this is the stuff of the 80s to 90s era hahaha) There was a nearby grocery store where dad bought zip-lock sandwich bags. It was the smallest size that he could find.

Zip-lock sandwich bags?? But these are...

• Not sterilized. May contaminate milk. Damn it, we are no longer sterilizing the bottles that Miko use at home. Pwede na yan.
• Not freezer safe. May rip when placed in freezer. We'll double up the bags. Pwede na yan.
• Not double zipped. May drip. Doble naman ang bags. Pwede na yan.

In the end, it was really pwede na since we had no other alternative. We even had different styles in packing the milk.

Dad was laying out the inner bag flatly inside the other one, then pour the milk into the two bags.

I poured the milk into one bag first, then jimmy the bag into the second one.

And that's how we survived sustaining breastfeeding even with no bottles. We were able to bring home about 900ml of milk for Miko! Thank God!

Want to hear more stories about my lap chole? I'll tell you in the next posts. :) I love you!

Our Christmas Break 2014 - Day 2

Thoughts for today.

-oh em gee we slept in late! Woke up at 10am. No time for morning walk now.

- active play within the yard then vitamins time.

- bathe all kids! Mantra is Ligo. Kain. Sleep. I think I did a good, organized job with the kids there.

- everyone is sleeping now. Time to cook spaghetti sauce as promised to Kuya.

- Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2!!

- kids are awake already so I have to stop watching now. Everybody prepare for church!

- dad is a bit grumpy today. Did we do anything to anger him? If he will get mad everytime we go to church, might as well not go anymore. Err.. no, that's a bad idea. All the more that we should go and hear mass.

- maybe one day, I'll keep walking away and won't turn back.

- dinner time! Everybody sleep after this!

- finally some me-time. I think i'll finish my movie now. I have the book beside me so I can reference to while watching the movie version.

My simple joys.

That day just breezed by! We have such a crazy crazy family and I love it just the same :)

A very manly Christmas

A few days ago, I chanced upon DIY gift tags that Jolina Magdangal used for their family's Christmas gifts this year.

Pinterest-worthy :)

I thought it was a really good idea, but didn't actually plan for it this year. One night, when I was wrapping a gift for lola, I decided to just wing it. Unfortunately, I don't have colored stamp pads so black ink will have to do. We put in Kuya's thumbmark at the middle, Iya's on the right and Miko's on the left.

This is how it turned out...

Uhm... they look like little uhmm.. what do you think?

Here's a closer view.

I may just be green-minded but that looks phallic to me

Needless to say, we'll just use these tags within the immediate family okay?

And note to self: buy colored stamp pads. Or think of better designs.

You may also want to read about the 2nd day of our Christmas break

Our Christmas Break 2014 - Day 1

Finally a break from work. Our company supports a long Christmas break so I take the opportunity to rest and be with family during the holidays. Chos.

But seriously, imposed a.k.a. "highly recommended" or not, I have already set aside key dates where my paid leaves are to be used. Those dates include the Christmas season, Holy Week, the week covering your dad's birthday and our anniversary, and birthdays ofcourse. So leaves for attending school events, watching over you when you are sick, or days when there are tons of errands to do -- those are unpaid leaves that get deducted from my pay. I just wanted to be clear on that. So, God forbid, you play hooky in school, I hope you find time to think of all your dad and I have sacrificed to provide for you. (Oh God, I'm sounding like your lola)

So today is the start of our 2-week long vacation. Yey!

Goals for the next 2 weeks:
- eat healthier in prep for my gall bladder removal surgery soon (will talk about this when I find time to do so)
- move around more to try to lose some pounds
- potty train Ate and Kuya. Kuya since he is turning 6 already (Kuya pls pls pls let's make this work) and Ate in preparation for her starting school in June. Yey!

So what exactly did we do in Day 1?
- Ate and Bunso woke up too early. Thank you kids *insert sarcasm here* so we walked a bit on the streets early in the morning.
- Kuya woke up shortly after we got back from our walk. Diapers were removed and IT IS ON!
- I had my nails done. Yey! Dad had his toenails cleaned as well.
- We slept a lot in the morning. I was able to squeeze in a nap too. I wish it was longer tho. Still, sleep is a treasure and I am grateful to dad for letting me rest.
- Every 2 hours or so, we'd ask Ate and Kuya if they need to go. Kuya will always say no, but will still pee when he is brought inside the restroom.
- We had a stroll in the afternoon too. I think that Kuya can see from the corner of his eye. He reacts whenever we come near parked cars. Hmmm... I see God moving in very very mysterious ways here. I am intrigued and thankful. *note to self: visit another optha soon*
- During our stroll, I wanted to jog/run since I read about these visually impaired kids running in marathons. We tried it a bit and kuya scraped his knee so crap. Maybe tomorrow, we can do it better.
- We watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I tried teaching Ate the incantations but I kept laughing at her because she's so bulol.
- We made gift tags with your thumbmarks. I wanted each of your thumbmark to have a different color but I just had a black stamp pad. Your thumbmarks looked like... uhm.. let me post it here and you tell me what you think. <Read about that story here.>

A full day no? Much to be thankful for and many many funny memories were shared. Thank you for never failing to make Mommy smile. I love you chipmunks.

Random thoughts during the first monthly period after giving birth and exclusively breastfeeding

1. Wait, what? Oh drats.
2. I can get pregnant again! Oh no!
3. I can get pregnant again! Probably twins? Yey!
4. How long did I skip this? 19 months? Not bad.
5. Ugh. I forgot how messy this could be.
6. Did a hundred elephants die in there?
7. Need to change again? Eew.
8. I'm not really angry - these are just my hormones wanting to wring this person's neck.
9. Maybe it won't be this bad next month.
10. Oh I miss pregnancy.

Siopao Sauce recipe (naks!)

We bought a pack of cheap siopao at the supermarket last week. By cheap, I meant that the siopao was more like a mantao - puro tinapay. It's like the bola-bola filling was just 1/8 of the whole thing. Parang binobola ka lang na bola-bola siya. (Achiche! Corny!)

Tha pack of 10 also comes with 2 sachets of siopao sauce. Now for somethng that is more bread than meat, ofcourse you need a lot of sauce diba? So I did a quick google and found a recipe for siopao sauce. The recipe called for onions and garlic and star anise. Being the tamad that I am, I decided to skip those and made my own.

Today's blog is about how it was made. Naks!

What you need:
- pork cubes
- water
- sugar
- soy sauce
- worcestershire sauce
- salt and pepper
- sugar
- cornstarch
- Tito Franco as the taster - o diba, we love him that much! :)

How we did it:
1. Dissolved 1 pork cube in 1 cup water.
2. Added 2 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp soy sauce, 1 tbsp worcestershire sauce.
3. Added salt and pepper to taste.
4. Tito Franco tasted it and complained that it was too salty.
5. Added 1 tbsp sugar. Still salty? Added 1 more tbsp. Salty pa rin? We added 1 cup water and 1 tbsp sugar. At this point, I dunno how much sugar was added. We just keep adding until I felt it was no longer too salty.
6. Once an agreement was made on the taste, we dissolved 1 tsp cornstarch in water. Add to the mixture and stir until thick.
7. Oops! Didn't thicken enough. Dissolved one more tsp cornstarch in some water.

Taste taste taste! Eventually, you'll get the right mix of salty and sweet, as well as the thickness that you're aiming for.

Dad loved it! Ginawang dip instead of sauce! Hahaha.

Not a very helpful recipe no? Treat me to siopao and I'll show you how to do it. Love you 'nak! :)

The *star* is the siopao, ofcourse, and not my sauce. :)

Have I told you about Baby-led weaning?

Definition from wikipedia

Kuya and Ate were both traditionally weaned, meaning their food was mashed, and they were spoonfed to. 

We tried BLW on Miko and I was a bit hesitant at first because we leave you guys with lolo and lola while we are away at work. I worry about the choking risk and how lolo and lola will react in case of an emergency. 

So we tried just doing BLW during the weekends. A facebook support group on BLW that I joined has 2 schools of thought on this. One was that this causes more confusion daw kasi the kid, i.e. Miko, wouldn't know if he is to swallow first (as done in mashed food) or chew first (BLW). One the other hand, some would say better do it during the weekends alone than not do it at all. 

I must say it was so rewarding watching Miko eat! Now we have breakfast together everyday. I eat while he chomps on a piece of bread, or a small tomato, really just anything that you give him. 

I just wanted to share some pictures of Miko eating. Probably because he mostly eats while seated on my lap, he like is more than being on his chair. (We'll get there, Bunso, don't worry.)

Oreos. Okay, not healthy.

Pan de sal. Usually shared with Mama over breakfast.

Tomato tongue. No seeds.

Eggplant from sinigang. Asim!

What are your thought on baby-led weaning? If you let me take care of your kids, will you let me do this approach?

Mommy's Fears

This morning, Lolo was telling a story of how one of their church friends live near the Barangay Hall and yet they got robbed. He said SEVEN men were part of the modus, with 4 acting as lookouts and 3 who did the actual job of forcibly entering the house IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and getting whatever they could, scaring the shit out of the homeowners in the process. Another house was robbed within the same week, but it was said that the homeowner didn't want to open the gate for the robbers. And you know what? He was shot! This, too, happened midday.

Scary! Keep the gate locked okay?

I pray for your protection. That God envelopes all of you in his arms so that no evil can harm you. May God send his angels to always watch over you and protect you.

I love you!

Times when I would rather formula-feed Miko...

**This is a post in progress; meaning, I will update whenever I remember something to add.**

1. When the office AC is busted and it's freezing and I'm not wearing a nursing top so I need to pull up my blouse to expose my chest and express milk. Bonus feature: I need to get my breastmilk pump accessories from the fridge and put the cold flanges on my breasts. Brrrrr....

2. When lola forgot the instructions to feed Miko the milk thawed from the freezer first. It got spoilt tuloy. That was just sad and frustrating.

3. When nature calls but I cannot run to the bathroom because Miko is still feeding. Imagine what I have to go through if I need to #2!!


Times when I love breastfeeding:
1. When I see the cost of formula milk. So shallow! Eh pero totoo eh! I can no longer imagine spending more than Php1000 a week for infant formula. I'll just save that amount for Miko's first birthday no?

2. When I want short sanity breaks from work. The breastfeeding room in our office has become a quick escape from all the stress. (But then again, I sometimes bring my work to the Diana Room. There was one time I had to eat lunch and catch up on email - all while expressing milk!)

3. Whenever I wake up and realize that Miko is already awake and trying to stand by holding the window sill. I expose my breast and call out a short "psst". Miko turns and, upon seeing my boob, will flash this super cute smile and start running crawling towards me to feed. Ah the joys of motherhood. :)

My realizations and affirmations this week

1. My heart can exist outside of my body in the persona of my kids, and I worry a LOT for their safety. [Update: Read about my fears]

2. Tito Franco is already a teenager and I pray he grows up honest and emotionally secure.

3. Love is a verb. To feel love, I must act it first.


Let me tell you about these in detail when I have the time, okay? Love you kids.

If I was still single...

A few days back, we went out and had lunch with mama's college friends - we being dad, mom, Aki, Iya and Miko -- the whole clan.

Tita Sheila brought along her husband and her son, and she's also 7 months pregnant with their 2nd baby. Tita Jolen and Tita Cindy, who are both still single, were commenting on how they cannot imagine going the family way. That is especially since they were watching me and Tita Sheila hover over the kids and try to make conversation over the din of voices. I was eating standing up so I can rock Miko. Kuya suddenly didn't feel well and he was very adamant that he wanted halohalo in a pizza place (wait, what?). Iya was eating on her own, sometimes using her hands to pick up spaghetti. So you see it wasn't really an encouraging scene.

I, wanting to be polite, said "Enjoy nyo lang yung pagiging single. Ang sarap kaya maging single no."

I said that in front of your dad. I also said this a few weeks' back when I met with another friend from college. I told dad about that meetup and conversation as well. He didn't seem to mind, or maybe he wasn't paying attention to my story. Either way, the story was just brushed off and there was no reaction to that statement. But now that days have passed, I'm thinking, was what I said offensive to your dad?

This Week in Photos

1. Went with Kuya to school before taking Miko to the ENT

 2. Date with your dad

3. Miko eating Oreo on his own. Sarap!

4. Getting my first pair of prescription glasses! Suddenly the world seems to much brighter, colors became sharper too! Ate got a small toy for coming with mama. :)

5. Playing in the rain! :D

6. Selfie time with Bunso.

7. And Daniel Padilla visited our house! Hahaha

I love spending time with all of you! Mommy loves you soooo much! :)

A typical night in Mommy's life

Kuya - 5y/o
Ate - 2yrs, 5mos
Miko - 8mos

1 a.m. Finally! Everyone's sleeping. Maybe I can have some me-time, kahit 30 minutes lang. Maybe I can watch TV, or read a book. Wait let me check my Facebook first... (scroll, scroll)... Zzzzz...

3 a.m. You're crying? Okay, here's my boob.

4 a.m. Crying again? Let's switch sides so you can take the other boob. Zzzzz... Ate? Why are you crying? Bad dream? Don't be scared, Mommy's here... You want to lie on Mommy's chest? But I'm feeding Miko! Lie on Mommy's side na lang. Okay okay, stop crying. Shush shush... Mama loves you.

4:30 a.m. Kuya? You want to sleep beside Mommy? Okay, let's move Ate since she's already sleeping. No, don't move to that side, you might ipit Miko! Lie behind Mama. You love Mama? I love you too, Kuya. Embrace Mama na, I'll face the other way so Miko can continue to latch.

5 a.m. You can't be hungry again! Switch sides. Switch boobs. Don't play with it. Please. Just. Latch!

6 a.m. Stop kicking me! Why is our bed wet? Your diaper leaked! Was it leaking when you woke me up earlier? But that was an hour ago! Ugh. I should've checked it when you were crying. I'm a bad mom. Let's change your diaper. Stop crying, I'm changing it now. Are you hungry? But I need to change this first before I feed you. Please stop crying, Daddy might wake up. Okay, done. Stop crying. Here's my boob na o.

6:30 a.m. What? What? Oh It's just Daddy's alarm. Is he awake? No, just snoozed the alarm. Alarm woke you up? Ugh. Shush shush.. Don't be scared. Here's my boob.

7:00 a.m. Time to wake up! Do I have a meeting today? Ugh. I want to sleep some more!!!! Must. Move. By. Inch. And. Not. Wake. You. Up. You're awake already??! Unbelievable! Well, good morning, Miko! Awww such a handsome smile. Love you Bunso. I love this morning. :)

that moment when....

You started drafting a new blog post on your phone's notepad feature. You created the back story and a disclaimer. You opened an internet browser and ****! You forgot to save your work.

#facepalm

Note: I know there are autosave functions. Apparently I did sonething stupid and it didn't autosave. Next time, I should write directly at the blogger site, or use my phone's split screen functionality. Hay.