Dear reader-who-is-not-my-child, this one's for you

Just last night, I chanced upon the Statistics section of Blogger and found out that we have readers from different parts of the world!

Our demographics. How cool is that?

Numbers might seem small for other bloggers, but then again, I never really intended to write to an audience apart from my kids. It was such a nice surprise seeing this numbers.

So thank you, спасибо, danke, terima kasih, merci, dank u, спасибі, and 남쪽에 감사합니다 to everyone who serendipitiously chanced upon this blog. I pray blessings to be showered upon you and your family. Please send a kiss to your mother for me, whether she may be your biological mom or your personal maternal figure because all mothers deserve and affection for all the sacrifices and love they shower their family.

Happy reading! :)

For Iya -- 20 Things a Father Should Tell His Daughter (from dorkdaddy.com)

1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.

2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.

3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.

4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn't fair, but it's the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.

5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.

6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.

7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.

8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.

9) Get comfortable with power tools.

10) You don't have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.

11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.

12) You don't have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.

13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you'll never have to "fit in". People will come to you.

14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can't remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?

15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don't let anyone take something from you they can't give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.

16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying "lalalalalalalala". Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.

17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.

18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let's be clear: all that crap you do to "get out the door" is for everyone else's benefit.

19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don't forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.

20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.

Remind Yourself That You’re A Saint Within

One day, a teacher asked her students in class to write the names of the other students on a piece of paper.  "And leave space between each name," she instructed.

       When they finished, the teacher said, "Underneath each name, I want you to write the good things you see in that person."  Immediately, the kids busied themselves with the task and took the whole class to finish it.

       The teacher took the papers home and collated the material.  On one piece of paper per child, she wrote all the positive qualities written by their classmates. 

       On the next class, she handed out the papers to the kids.  They were very happy to read the letters.  "Wow, am I really this person?" some of them gushed.

       Many, many years later, the teacher received a phone call.   One of her former students, who had become a soldier, was killed in battle.  Would she want to attend the funeral?

       She went and saw many of her former students condoling with the bereaved family.  As she stood beside the coffin, looking at the lifeless body of a young man in uniform inside, a middle-aged woman approached her.  "Are you my son's grade school teacher?"

       "Yes," she said, "you must be his mother.  My deepest condolences."

       "I'd like to show something to you," the mother said. "My son had this inside his wallet when he died."  She pulled out a worn-out piece of paper.  It was obvious that it had been folded and unfolded many times. 

Even before it was opened, the teacher already knew what it was.  It was the piece of paper that contained the list of positive qualities his classmates saw in him.  Kept and read all through the years.

       By that time, her other students had gathered around both of them.

       A young man beside the teacher said, "Uh, I carry mine wherever I go too."

       A woman from behind said, "I still keep mine.  It's in my diary."

       Another man said, "I display my list on my desk at home."

       Another woman said, "It seems like all of us kept that paper all these years!"

       The teacher was moved beyond words. 

       Why would a simple piece of paper mean so much?

       Because here's the truth: Life can be rough.  At various time, it can even be cruel.  Every time we fail, every time we receive criticism, every time we get rejected, we doubt our worth.  We doubt our goodness.

       We are very desperate for love.

       We need to love the saint within us.

       Friend, love yourself. 

       Each day, celebrate your positive qualities.  Celebrate your goodness.  Celebrate your beauty.

       Thank God for how wonderful He made you.

Love the sinner and the saint within.     

      

       May your dreams come true,

     I love you.

(Story from the Chicken Soup series)

Faith

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: How comfortable, trusting and at home are you with God as the "Unseen Father"? What are your most cherished experiences of His goodness? Are you a doer in faith, or are you one who waits in faith?

Increase my faith, Lord, not only as I wait, but as I follow You in moments of darkness.

Confess

Reflection: Have you sinned? Failed? Made mistakes? Confess. Get back up. Move on. His love is greater. Lord, thank You for Your mercy and forgiveness. Thank You for Your love that never ends.

You Are Not an Accident

<by Russell Kelfer> You are who you are for a reason. You're part of an intricate plan. You're a precious and perfect unique design, Called God's special woman or man. You look like you look for a reason. Our God made no mistake. He knit you together within the womb, You're just what he wanted to make. The parents you had were the ones he chose, And no matter how you may feel, They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind, And they bear the Master's seal. No, that trauma you faced was not easy. And God wept that it hurt you so; But it was allowed to shape your heart So that into his likeness you'd grow. You are who you are for a reason, You've been formed by the Master's rod. You are who you are, beloved, Because there is a God!"

Anger Management

Admittedly, I need to work on managing my emotions, especially anger. Please forgive me when I fail to count to 10.

Love, your mum.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

ANGER MANAGEMENT Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against your fellow countrymen. – Leviticus 19:18                                         Phinehas Gage was a capable and efficient railroad construction foreman. But in 1848, he had a freak accident where a rod pierced through his skull above his left eye. His recovery was miraculous but the damage to the front lobe of his brain caused Gage to be angry, short-tempered and unsteady. Many point to his case in illustrating the role that our frontal lobe plays in controlling our anger. Scientists say that this part balances the amygdala, the portion of our brain dealing with our emotions that goes crazy when we're angry. This whole balancing act can take as little as two seconds to control our anger. That's why there's great wisdom in counting to 10 before reacting when we're infuriated. God has equipped our bodies with systems to control our emotions. We don't need to be a slave to our feelings; instead, we can be their master. But more than the physiological mechanisms He has built into us, God also gives us His power to bear the fruits of patience and temperance. So the next time you feel like bursting with rage, remember: God has already given you what you need to control your anger. Then start counting to 10. Rissa Singson-Kawpeng (justbreatherissa@gmail.com) Reflection: For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Jesus, teach me to master my emotions. Amen. Blessed John of Fiesole, pray for us.

From Bo Sanchez: Discover What You Really Need

Have you heard of the great Houdini?

As a young boy, I loved reading about him.  Houdini was probably the most famous escape artist in the world.  I'm not sure if the story I'm about to tell you is part legend and part history, but I find it utterly fascinating. 

Houdini boasted he could escape any jail cell in less than an hour.  One day, a small town in the British Isles built a new jail cell and they were proud of it.  "Come give us a try," they said to Houdini, and he agreed. 

He walked into the prison cell bristling with confidence.  After all, he had done this hundreds of times before.

Once the jail cell was closed, Houdini took off his coat and went to work.  From his belt, he got a flexible but tough ten-inch piece of steel.  He knelt in front of the door and started working on the lock.

At the end of 30 minutes, his confident expression had disappeared. 

At the end of an hour, he was drenched with perspiration. 

After two hours and totally exhausted, Houdini literally collapsed against the door.  And the force of his weight was enough to push the door open!

       Because in reality, the door had never been locked.

       It was locked only in one place: In his own mind.

       Which meant only one thing.  It was firmly locked.

       Because whatever your mind says is locked—is locked. 

Even if it isn't…

You Can Be Free!

       Friend, you can get rid of your bad habits.

       You can be free from your addictions.

       The Bible says, you have been called to live in freedom.(Galatians 5:13)

       I should know.  For years, I was addicted to pornography and sexual fantasies.  Yes, even as I was serving God and preaching.  Like Houdini, I tinkered with the "lock" of my jail cell and lost hope because I couldn't unlock the door.  (For my full story, read my book, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future.)

       One day, I had a powerful realization.  I discovered that the door wasn't locked—except in my mind.  I realized that at any time, I could push hard and the door would swing open—and I could simply walk out.  And stay out!

       And that's what I did.

       My friend, you can get rid of your addictions.

       Here's the truth: 70% of people get rid of their own addictions on their own.  You see, there is no ONE singular way to get out of an addiction. There are many ways to get rid of your destructive bad habits. (We will examine all these ways in the next few weeks.)

Why Do We Have Addictions Anyway?

From a superficial perspective, addictions provide an escape so you won't feel your painful feelings.

       And what are these painful feelings?

·      Hurt: "I feel rejected."

·      Depression: "I feel low"; "I feel old"; "I feel ugly"; "I feel fat"

·      Despair: "I feel my life is meaningless"

·      Guilt: "I feel I'm bad"; "I feel I can't meet the needs of my husband/kids"

·      Anxiety: "I feel worried that bad things will happen"

·      Fear: "I feel afraid that I will get hurt"

·      Hate: "I feel angry at myself"; "I feel angry at others"

·      Shame: "I feel I'm not worthy to even exist"

Let me share to you my own personal experience.

For years, the predominant feeling that ruled my life was SHAME.  But I didn't know it was shame.  I got so used to this feeling, I thought it was part of life.  I would wake up with this "bad" feeling already.  All I knew was that I felt extremely sad.  And my thoughts were always about my mistakes—real and imagined.  Like a guy who only played one DVD in his DVD player, and did nothing else except press the "rewind" button, I simply paraded my past mistakes before me.  And then I'd imagine how this person doesn't like me, how that person is angry with me, how this person is rejecting me.  And I would feel "it" in my gut.  It was my constant companion, never leaving me.

Years later, I finally identified what I felt.

I was ashamed that I existed.  I was ashamed that I was alive.

Can you imagine waking up each morning with this feeling?

That was my life.

And so to escape my shame, I drowned myself in testosterone.  I got into Porn.  At least, these girls were smiling and disrobing to me.  They must like me.  My sexual fantasies were the same—these women were attracted to me.

For a moment, my shame disappeared.

But, after indulging in porn and masturbating, my shame deepened.

       How could I, a servant of God, do such a thing?

       But I kept doing it for years.

I threw myself into work—work that would make the world like me.  My approval addiction was even more powerful than my sex addiction.

       But twenty years ago, I took my first steps towards healing.  It was a long journey.

What Is Your Core Need?

At the bottom of all addictions is this statement: "I don't love myself."

       At the core of an addict's heart is an empty Love Tank.

       Every addiction is a hunger for love.

       He doesn't like himself.

       He doesn't value himself.

       He doesn't love himself.

       That is why I believe that only love can heal an addiction.

Walk Towards Your Freedom Now

       For the longest time, you've been in a prison cell.

       You're tired.  You're desperate.

       You've been tinkering with that impossible lock on the door.

       But in reality, there is no lock.

       You think there's a lock, but there's none.

       You've been deceived.  Cheated.

       The lock is in your mind, not in the door. 

What is that lock in your mind?

I call it your "homing instinct".  That means an unconscious part of you would like to stay in that dirty prison because you've become used to it.  It's been your home for years.  Something within you—the defeated you, the failed you, the unloved you—wants to go back to that dungeon.  A part of you feels that's what you deserve.  This drive within you is called the "homing" instinct.  Hurting people recreate their home, no matter how painful those homes were.

       But as you fill up your Love Tank, as you value yourself more and as you receive love from God and others, you realize that you deserve a new home.  You realize that you don't belong there anymore.  With a full Love Tank, your "homing" instinct no longer drives you to your past home.  Instead, it drives you to your future home.  You begin to develop a "vision" instinct.

     

       I remain your friend,

       Bo Sanchez  

Love and fear

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

—1 John 4:18

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

There are many kinds of fear. Some of these are legitimate. Others are imagined. Still others are irrational. Thankfully, as Christians, we don't have to be afraid of the one crucial event in our life -- judgment. God's love saves us, empowers us, blesses us, works in us, and touches others through us. Most of all, having experienced this love, we can cast fear out of our hearts because we know where we stand with God. He is our loving Father who longs to bring us home!

My Prayer...

Holy, majestic, and awesome God, you are mighty in your strength. You are holy beyond comparison. You are righteous and fair in your dealings with your people. Most of all, dear Father, I thank you because you do not deal with me as my sins deserve. No, O God, you deal with me graciously, blessing me with your redeeming and transforming grace. Your love gives me confidence to live for you and to await the day I stand before you. Until that day I offer you my thanks and praise in Jesus' holy name I pray. Amen.

Reflection, February 10, 2013

Reflection: When the opportunities to serve the Lord present themselves, will you have an excuse or are you ready to be used? Lord, I make myself available to You. Use me as You please. Bless me with the skills and gifts I will need and empower me with Your Spirit. Amen.

Reflection, February 9, 2013

Reflection: In every circumstance, we can choose to dwell on the problem or focus on the blessing. Father God, forgive me when I choose to see the problems and wallow in self-pity, thinking that I am a victim. Help me see what You see. Help me focus on the blessings, even in the most trying situations, and glorify You.

Reflection for Work

Reflection: Are you suffering from burnout? Learn to delegate.

Lord, help me to realize that I can't possibly do everything with my own power. Grant me the grace to share the work with others.

Reflection for today

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: What circumstances in life make you prefer to have persons around you? Why? Who are the particular persons you wish to be with you when these circumstances arise?

 ****I hope I can be with you always. I treasure every moment that we play together, laugh together, or basically just sitting together. Love you both sweethearts~mom

Lord Jesus, help me to always remember that in unity, there's strength.

Hypocrites Are Welcome

In today's First Reading, we continue to read from the Letter to the Hebrews' treatise on the priesthood. We are reminded that we have such a High Priest in Jesus who is "holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and higher than the heavens"(v.25).

A story is told of a priest who bumped into a parishioner who had not been attending Mass for quite some time. When asked why she had not been going to church, she snapped back, "Because our parish church is full of hypocrites!" The priest smiled and proposed, "Why don't you come next Sunday? We still have room for one more."

Why do we go to church and listen to God's Word? We go to Mass not because we are holy. On the contrary, we go to church because we need to be forgiven, to be reminded of His Word, to be strengthened by His Body and Blood. Let us not forget, the Church is not a museum of saints. The Church is a hospital for sinners.

May I propose a remedy for this tendency towards skepticism and discouragement? Let us not judge the effectivity of a medicine through those who do not take it. In the same vein, let us not judge the holiness of the Church through those who have fallen short of the standard. As the wise saying goes, "Do not leave Jesus because of Judas."

Surely this is not a justification and we should continue to be indignant when priests and Christians give Christianity a bad witness. The duty to live up to the dignity of our calling remains. But we maintain that the Church is holy not because of the priests and its members. The Church is and continues to be holy in spite of erring priests and members because our High Priest is Jesus, "holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and higher than the heavens."

This is surely good news and a guard from discouragement. Fr. Joel Jason

REFLECTION QUESTION: Have you alienated yourself from the Church because of erring Church members? Know that, in the end, you are the one who stands to lose.

Choose To Be Clean and Healthy

Jesus stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, "I do will it. Be made clean." – Luke 5:13

In December 2011, I had the privilege of interviewing people who were healed through natural and alternative healing methods. Many of them simply changed their eating habits — from an "eat anything" diet to a plant-based one.

One was a pancreatic cancer survivor who drinks guyabano tea as her water. Another one drinks pure, fresh calamansi extract every morning as his maintenance for a stronger immune system. From near-death, most of them are now enjoying their second lives.

But what I realized from their stories is that our health is in our hands — not in the doctors'.

We can choose to be healthy or unhealthy, depending on what we put into our bodies. And this is what I am guilty of. Although I try to eat less meat and more fish and fruits, I still do eat a lot of sweets and chips, and drink soda.

But as the Lord said to the leper in the Scripture passage today, "Be made clean," I believe that, with God's grace, I can make a turnaround.

So for this year, I promise to myself and to the Lord that I will nourish myself only with healthy food, not only physically but also spiritually, emotionally and mentally. -- Tess V. Atienza (svp_tvatienza@yahoo.com)

Reflection: What do you want to be healed of? Ask the Lord to heal you.

 Lord, I present to You my unclean self. Make me clean again.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is a lesson for mommy, too. I need to strive and live a healthier lifestyle so that I can spend more years with you. I love you, kids!

GOD IS NOT OUR RIVAL

God is not our Rival Greek mythology narrates the story of Prometheus. Prometheus came to know that the gods enjoyed fire in their kingdom and they capriciously withheld it from humans and kept it for their own enjoyment. One day, Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to men. The gods became angry and they punished Prometheus for eternity by having a large bird eat up his entrails, then they regenerate and the birds come back to eat them again. The Promethean myth continues up to this day in many ways. For some people, God is a distant, uninvolved and disinterested God. He created the world and turned His back from it forever. For some, God is a tyrant whose pleasure comes from imposing unreasonable rules on His subjects. Today's First Reading addresses the latter sentiment. John reminds us: "The love of God consists in this: that we keep his commandments — and his commandments are not burdensome." When we see God from the Promethean point of view, God is a tyrant and a rival. When God is seen this way, His commandments will always be viewed as capricious and burdensome. The glory of Christianity lies precisely in the fact that the unknown God has made Himself known; the unseen God has made Himself visible; the eternal God was born into the world and became man. In Jesus, the Incarnate One, we see a God who lived out His own commandments even before He gave them out. God did not simply write a moral manual, dropped it from the heavens and left us on our own to figure it out. Blessed John Paul II put it so eloquently when he said that, in Jesus, "God introduced man to man himself." In short, Jesus, in becoming man, showed humanity how to live as a man and child of God. Jesus did not say "Go!" He said, "Let's go!" Yes, God is not our rival. He is our companion. We can trust Him and His commandments are not burdensome. Fr. Joel Jason REFLECTION QUESTION: Have you appreciated the Christmas mystery of God becoming one with us? Prayerfully and with consciousness, pray the following words: "And the Word was made flesh and made His dwelling among us. Amen!"

Relationship with God

Do you have a tendency to be utilitarian in your relationship with God? Do you go to Him only when you are in need?

Lord Jesus, You taught us to pray for our daily bread. I pray not for that which spoils and rots. I pray for the bread that is You, the bread that brings us unto life eternal. Amen.

Inherited Traits

What traits did you inherit from your ancestors? Are they godly traits? If not, what are you doing to correct them?

Not understanding but trusting

We may never be able to understand fully the methods or motives of God; but we are not required to understand them, simply to trust them. (Woodrow Kroll)

Lord, teach me to obey You, especially during the times when I don't understand.

I love this contract drawn by Janell Hofmann when she gave her son an iPhone. I'm sure you will have access to technology far greater than what we have now, but I hope you can relate to the pointers she has listed out. Love you both!

++++++++++++++

Gregory's iPhone Contract

12/25/2012

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas!  You are now the proud owner of an iPhone.  Hot Damn!  You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift.  But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations.  Please read through the following contract.  I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it.  Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

 I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

 1. It is my phone.  I bought it.  I pay for it.  I am loaning it to you.  Aren't I the greatest?

 2.  I will always know the password.

 3.   If it rings, answer it.  It is a phone.  Say hello, use your manners.  Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad".  Not ever.

 4.  Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm.  It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am.  If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text.  Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected. 

5.  It does not go to school with you.  Have a conversation with the people you text in person.  It's a life skill.  *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6.  If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.  Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money.  It will happen, you should be prepared.

7.  Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being.  Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.  Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire. 

8.  Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9.  Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.  Censor yourself.

10.  No porn.  Search the web for information you would openly share with me.  If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father. 

11.  Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public.  Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.  You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12.  Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts.  Don't laugh.  Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence.  It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life.  It is always a bad idea.  Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.  And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

13.  Don't take a zillion pictures and videos.  There is no need to document everything.  Live your experiences.  They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14.  Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision.  It is not alive or an extension of you.  Learn to live without it.  Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out. 

15.  Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff.  Your generation has access to music like never before in history.  Take advantage of that gift.  Expand your horizons.

16.  Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17.  Keep your eyes up.  See the world happening around you.  Stare out a window.  Listen to the birds.  Take a walk.  Talk to a stranger.  Wonder without googling. 

18.  You will mess up.  I will take away your phone.  We will sit down and talk about it.  We will start over again.  You & I, we are always learning.  I am on your team.  We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms.  Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life.  You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world.  It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get.  Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine.  I love you.  I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.  Merry Christmas!

 xoxoxo

Mom