Quick reminders (generic)

1. When you're overwhelmed, take a long bath.

2. Make sure you have menthol shampoo on stock, just in case you need to unwind.

3. Alternative: essential oils in the bath -- my favorites are lavender or peppermint

Quick reminders (for Dahlia)

1. Use Betadine feminine wash after sex, when you have your period, and when you feel itchy down there.

2. Other that #1, no need for any perfumed feminine wash or any soaps. Clean water will do.

3. After sex, make sure you pee and wash immediately. This is a must to avoid infections.

Random thoughts on Appreciation

Lately, I appreciate -- - your dad for his unbelievable patience when I was in labor with Miko. From when my labor started in the emergency room until after I gave birth and couldn't move much, he was there and assisting me. Of all three times that I gave birth, this was the most patient I have seen him. - your lolo and lola. Since I gave birth to Miko, they were very supportive especially in my decision to breastfeed. Lolo hasn't been cooking much before I gave birth, but now he makes sure that I always have soup, with malunggay if possible, to increase my milk supply. - Kuya Aki and Ate Iya for welcoming Miko and loving him right from the start. Ate wants to kiss Miko all the time, and Kuya has never been pasaway so Mommy can tend to Miko. Give everyone a kiss after you read this okay? Let them know that mommy loves them. :)

Homily 01122014

Facing future giants. - Giants are things bigger than us, like trials, etc. How to prepare? 1. Humility - ability to accept that God has a plan and we submit ourselves to that plan. 2. Rise above - giants would make us feel small to undermine our confidence and to downsize our faith. But giant problems are opportunities to show the power of God. 3. Plug into God - connect to the source of power: God. It is from such continued connection that we always hear God's voice that tells us that we are His beloved. Claiming victory We can claim our victory by humbly accepting God's plan for us and by being always connected to Him. These will lead us to God's assuring love to sustain us in facing life's giants. No matter how big the giants, we should not be discouraged and feel defeated. We should always remember who we are in the eyes of God -- His beloved.

For Iya -- 20 Things a Father Should Tell His Daughter (from dorkdaddy.com)

1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.

2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.

3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.

4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn't fair, but it's the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.

5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.

6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.

7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.

8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.

9) Get comfortable with power tools.

10) You don't have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.

11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.

12) You don't have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.

13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you'll never have to "fit in". People will come to you.

14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can't remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?

15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don't let anyone take something from you they can't give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.

16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying "lalalalalalalala". Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.

17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.

18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let's be clear: all that crap you do to "get out the door" is for everyone else's benefit.

19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don't forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.

20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.

30 years from now

So I was thinking that every family should have the following:

- a doctor. So that someone can explain medical conditions and give sound advise (and debunk superstitious beliefs!) to the rest of the family.
Are you up to the challenge, Dr. Dahlia Felize Deves, MD? I'll leave the specialization to you. Put in as many initials after your name as you can alright? Take care of your dad and kuya and explain processes and medicines to them when I am no longer around. Ease their worry and their fear of hospitals and medical procedures. I entrust to you the wellbeing of these two men in our family.


- a priest. But since we're thinking big, can we have a Pope? His Holiness, Pope Jeshua Khalel Deves sounds really good to my ears. (Your choice for the Pope name, but remember I adore Pope John Paul II) You have always been dad's and my anchor to God. Please be the light of this family and guide your siblings towards God too. I can be your secretary, son. Just promise to take me to the Vatican and the Holy Land please. :) You can be the first blind Filipino Pope!

- someone needs to be a lawyer too. To explain the law and, again, give advice to everyone. This is my second choice for the both of you. :)

Then again, you can always be what you want to be -- businessman, office worker, mechanic, painter. So long as you are happy and you can provide for you and your family's needs, I can die happy. I vow to try and expose you to all possibilities and options you might want to explore, and support you in whatever path you want to pursue.

I love you both so much! :)

I love this contract drawn by Janell Hofmann when she gave her son an iPhone. I'm sure you will have access to technology far greater than what we have now, but I hope you can relate to the pointers she has listed out. Love you both!

++++++++++++++

Gregory's iPhone Contract

12/25/2012

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas!  You are now the proud owner of an iPhone.  Hot Damn!  You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift.  But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations.  Please read through the following contract.  I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it.  Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

 I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

 1. It is my phone.  I bought it.  I pay for it.  I am loaning it to you.  Aren't I the greatest?

 2.  I will always know the password.

 3.   If it rings, answer it.  It is a phone.  Say hello, use your manners.  Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad".  Not ever.

 4.  Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm.  It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am.  If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text.  Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected. 

5.  It does not go to school with you.  Have a conversation with the people you text in person.  It's a life skill.  *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6.  If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.  Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money.  It will happen, you should be prepared.

7.  Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being.  Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.  Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire. 

8.  Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9.  Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.  Censor yourself.

10.  No porn.  Search the web for information you would openly share with me.  If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father. 

11.  Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public.  Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.  You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12.  Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts.  Don't laugh.  Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence.  It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life.  It is always a bad idea.  Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.  And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

13.  Don't take a zillion pictures and videos.  There is no need to document everything.  Live your experiences.  They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14.  Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision.  It is not alive or an extension of you.  Learn to live without it.  Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out. 

15.  Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff.  Your generation has access to music like never before in history.  Take advantage of that gift.  Expand your horizons.

16.  Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17.  Keep your eyes up.  See the world happening around you.  Stare out a window.  Listen to the birds.  Take a walk.  Talk to a stranger.  Wonder without googling. 

18.  You will mess up.  I will take away your phone.  We will sit down and talk about it.  We will start over again.  You & I, we are always learning.  I am on your team.  We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms.  Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life.  You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world.  It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get.  Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine.  I love you.  I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.  Merry Christmas!

 xoxoxo

Mom

Happy New Year!

2012 was full of memorable events, don't you think so?

- Iya was born a day before mommy's birthday, after a month of infanticipating coz she seemed ready to pop out anytime
- Good performance feedback for mom despite me missing a lot of days of work, and messing up on some days too.
- Lolo Romy's death. I'm pretty sure he and Lola Dely are happy in heaven.
- Daddy's GBS and the three-week trial in the hospital. I really thought we'd lose daddy, but thank God that He has made daddy well. :)
- Daddy's promotion. Got the news while he was still in the hospital, too! :)
- Kuya Aki's brush with dengue. I really thank God for your strength, Kuya. Imagine having dengue yet not needing hospital confinement. I wouldn't know what to do or how to split myself if you got confined while daddy was still recuperating.
- The cancelled wedding. We prepared for it for almost a year, but God wanted mom and dad to have a stronger marriage, rather than a grand wedding. Thankful that we got a church blessing nevertheless. :)

It was a year full of trials, tears, laughter and memories, and I can't wait to start 2013 with all of you. I love you so much!

GUIDE TO A BETTER LIFE - DR RANDY PAUSCH

He was a Harvard professor and was in his forties.

Died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book 'The last lecture" , one of the bestsellers in 2007.  What a legacy to leave  behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and  his children, Dylan, Logan , and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful  "guide to a better life" for them  to follow.
May you be  blessed by his insight.



POINTS  ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don't  compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all  about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead  invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep  your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5.  Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake  
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8.  Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the  past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste  time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it  won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
 Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like  algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and  laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to  disagree.

Community:
15. Call your  family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive  everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 &  under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job  will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay  in touch.

Life:
22.  Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.  GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a  situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up  and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that  isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning,  thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you  will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice all of the above,  share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with,
people you play with, people you work with and people you live  with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR  life, but also that of those around you.

GOD BLESS!!

This is specifically for Iya

Daddy's Rules For Dating

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Communicate Well to Lead

"If you lead your team, give yourself three standards to live by as you communicate to your people:
> Be consistent.
> Be clear.
> Be courteous."

John Maxwell

On your time and energy

To focus your time and energy, use these guidelines to help you:
> Focus 70% on developing strengths
> Focus 25% on new things
> Focus 5% on areas of weakness

-John Maxwell

A quote and some instructions for Iya

"Holding back your feelings stops you from getting hurt, but it also hold you back from true happiness."

So have fun, enjoy your childhood but don't do anything you'll be ashamed to tell me!

By the way, Iya, here are daddy's bilin for you:
- no boyfriend until after college
- no staying in a boarding house, or staying away from home without your Kuya

Here's mine:
- love your kuya and take care of him
- find a man who respects and loves not only you but your kuya as well

I love you sweetheart! :)

Infernez, it's Lunes

Took a quick break from taking care of you guys today so I can run a number of errands that has been pending for some time now. I spent 2 hours away from home and these were what I accomplished:

- went to the NEW San Pedro Municipal Hall to get a Certified True Copy of Iya's birth certificate. I need this for when I get back to work in June.

- requested for a grocery purchase booklet for Kuya's Person With Disability (PWD) ID. The Municipal Social Welfare Department/Development (MSWD) said it's still not available, though. So, we still would not be able to avail of your PWD discount, Kuya.

- bought pancit with catsup. This is a dish unique to San Pedro. It's plain pancit (not much sahog in there) but with egg and catsup. Sounds weird? I haven't tried it myself but I bought 2 orders for Lolo Teng and Daddy to try. :)

- bought pambahay na basketball shorts for Kuya. So cute! :)

- had our will-you-be cards printed for Mum and Dad's church wedding primary sponsors. Also had a map to the venue printed, as well as our motif. I told Dad to buy envelopes so I hope he won't forget.

- went to RiteMed to inquire about the cost of their circumcision packages for Titoy. It's Php2,300 and will be done by a surgeon.

- went to San Pedro Doctors Hospital to get our refund for the excess professional fee charged by my OB when I gave birth to Iya. Good thing, I was able to claim without much hassle.

- went to Pacita Arcade and bought a sundress, shoes and mittens for Iya.

Whew! That was a lot! :) let's have our siesta na ha? (Lalo ka na, Kuya, wag na magtantrums!)

I love you both!

My Greatest Fears

• Die or be an invalid before I see you and your siblings able to provide for your own.
• See you or any of your siblings be miserable or selfish or unkind, especially to the less fortunate.
• See our family break apart.

Our Favorite Things

You're turning two in a few days and I just wanted to share a number of things that made Mommy's life easier and happier since you were born.

• Munchkin Fresh Food Feeder -- Number one on my list because I think this is revolutionary! (Forgive me if this has been around for sometime now and Mommy has been naive not to know. hahaha) Even before you had teeth, I can place fruits and vegetables in this and you can suck on the juices without Mommy fearing that you might choke.
  
• Farlin Electric Steam Sterilizer -- Yes, we still kept the stove top sterilizer for when you stay overnight at Daddy's house in Antipolo. But this helped Mommy work on other things while waiting for that orange light to turn off, signaling that your bottles and pacifiers are germ-free. Oops! Must not forget to dry the heating plate once it cooled down so that it won't easily rust.
  
• Baby food maker -- There are lots of kinds in the market but Mommy especially likes the one with juicer, grater and strainer. I love making food for you -- tomatoes, bananas, apples, mangoes, even if sometimes you don't like the food that Mommy prepares
  
• Pacifier -- You can't sleep without this until two or three months ago. I had to ask three dentists if this can really damage your teeth. All three said yes, so we had to tell you that our dog ate your pacifier. You asked for milk instead.
• Superman Pillow - Mommy had a doll named Nini Bunini. You have your Superman pillow. We have to wash it during the day and pray to God it dries before nighttime so you won't notice that it was gone from the bed.
  
• Corococs -- the Crocs imitation that we had you wear for walking around the house. It prevented your toes from splaying and it was easy to don and doff.
  
• Mommy's Me Time -- doesn't mean that Mommy loves you less. I sometimes need this to keep my sanity and my cool. I feel that sometimes, you want time off from Mommy too (you get that from your dad. ) I know this when you pretend to like your nanny and call for her to carry you and make pasyal sa malayong malayo.
• Daddy, Yoyo, Wowa, RBI teachers, ACN colleagues, and family and friends -- We've been through a lot this first two years but it was due to the people around us and to those who watch over us that we remain steadfast in God's eyes. I hope you never forget what they have done for us during our sad and happy days.
  
• Papa Jesus, Mama Mary, Papa Joseph and all the saints and angels -- talk to them, Sweetheart, in any chance that you get. Get closer to them by reading your Bible and praying all the time. Talk to priests, to your Tito Pangke and other mentors who are godly, and I am sure you will never feel lost or alone.
  

This is my list for now. I'm looking forward to the next two years. I love you!

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