Miko's Questions

You've been asking very difficult questions lately! 😲

1. On your anniversary, are you and dad going to have sex?

Me: Why do you ask that?

Miko: Because you're married

Me: You know, sex is a very intimate act between mom and dad, and so we don't talk about it with other people, not even you.

Me afterwards: Frantically messaging the ninangs if I answered correctly. 

This is the first time you asked about sex in the context of mom and dad so it really caught me off-guard. We talked about it, but never really related it to us personally. I wasn't prepared to be hearing from this question this early!! 😆

2. (Weeks after) When did you and dad have sex?

Me: (in my mind: do I tell him with every child? Do I tell him more than each child? Do I answer him at all?) I repeat my line about sex being an intimate act, and added "but I can tell you one thing -- sex is also a means for reproduction" (I'll talk to him about that some day soon)

3. (Same night as #2) What happens if you and dad (makes gestures of separating)

Dad: (tries to "not understand" the gestures and asks other things to distract him)

Miko: (finally getting his message across despite not verbalizing it. He makes signs for breaking up, separate, etc)

Me: (preparing to answer along the lines of custody, both mom and dad loving you inspite not being together, etc)

Dad: til death do us part

Me: (really shocked that with a single phrase he managed to show how he really values this marriage that much. I proceed to talk about the marriage vows and how we made a promise in front of God and the government that we will stay together. Shared Matthew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man separate", and ended with Miko should not be worried about it because even if dad and I get into disagreements or fights, we will always honor our promise to each other.)

Lord, I thank You for the wisdom that You have given my son. May You cultivate this wisdom and use this for Your glory. May He grow up to use your gifts, and be compassionate, giving to others, and sharing Your Good News. Amen

from dad re: smoking incident

It's been a while since the smoking incident. I've given your dad the cold shoulder for days, but we've made up and didn't talk about it anymore.

One day, we were cuddling and I told him "pag nakita ulit kitang naninigarilyo, di na ako bibili ng gamot mo ha" siyempre it was in jest lang naman, but half meant. It was just so frustrating worrying about someone when they don't care at all.

He answered me with "Wag mo na sabihin, nahihiya nga ako sa iyo eh" and that tugged at my heart. I didn't say anything anymore because, even deep in my heart, I was not gloating. What I was thinking was -- your dad is a huge part of my life. We may not be lovey dovey most of the time, but I will be terribly sad if he is taken from us.

That being said, let me reiterate to please don't start smoking. Nothing good will come out of it.

Love you kids! ❤

When Dad found out

Your dad and I were talking finances the other night and guess what! He found out about the donation I told you about here!

Turned out he was using my iPad and my Facebook messenger was logged in to that device too. So dad was able to see the exchange between me and my classmate. We were talking about some payables that were due and how we don't have extra money to eat outside always, and here was how the rest of the conversation went.

D: Di naman ako galit no, pero kasi akala ko Messenger ko yung nakalagay sa iPad. May dinonatean ka? Para saan yun? 

K: Ah oo, para sa mga bata yun na taga-Buscalan. 

D: Okay pero di ba masyadong malaki? (I gave an amount that is equivalent to us going out on a date for movies and a not-so fancy meal.) 

K: Di naman tsaka one-time lang naman yun.

At this point, we/he decided not to push the topic further and shifted the conversation to something else. You may also note that I did not give too much information on the outreach. I was tempted to give him the link to the post I made! Hahaha. But knowing your dad, that would lead to more questions and me feeling like I was being interrogated for putting someone's needs above our own.

What was running through my mind was that we are so blessed materially more than the kids of Buscalan. Do we have problems with money? Yes. But these are problems that we can still address or put off. Remember: no one is too poor that he cannot give. I want you to remember this as you grow up.

So, anyway, let's see if this topic comes up again between your dad and I. Praying for a generous heart for you and your future spouses.

Routines and hormones

I had my period today so I was feeling hormonal, read: easily distressed.

Your dad has started eating dinner and Miko kept coming up to him. I wasn't able to get Miko from dad because Ate wanted to comb my hair and wouldn't let me stand up from my chair in front of the TV. In short, dad got mad because his "nightly routine" got effed up.

He always says "may routine na kasi ako pagdating sa bahay" and that routine shouldn't be swayed. Maybe that's my problem. I couldn't understand routines because I don't have one. Maybe if I had a routine, I wouldn't have to eat while spoonfeeding 2 kids and breastfeeding another one all the same time. Maybe if I had a routine, I could have more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.

Maybe routines and parenting don't mix. Routines suck. Hormonal imbalance sucks. I wish I slept earlier last night to prepare me for this day.

Sorry for the rant. I really just wanted to let it out. In retrospect, I think I'm really just jealous of how your dad can manage a routine, find time for his games and interests, etc. Not that I'm regreting the time spent with you. I just wish I had more time for me, to learn, to be quiet for more than 10 minutes, to bathe and poop without being rushed. Maybe things will get better when you're older and you can do more things on your own.

Who wouldn't have a heart attack? Disclaimer: more precarious positions were not photographed due to transient hypertension attacks.

I love you kids. I love your dad too. He just gets on my nerves sometimes. Some times more frequently than normal. Hay. But I love him nevertheless.

Finally, chocobutternut

Your dad and I had a cold war after I got home from my laparoscopic cholecystectomy. Paano ba naman, my first day coming from operation and he was out of the house already to get gifts from his friends. I felt like he was rushing out to get away from taking care of me. Okay, sorry for being self-centered, but during the drive home, I was telling him that I didn't need him there, but I want him to be. More for moral support than physical needs.

We were giving each other the silent treatment for a few days. Until he came home and brought this...

Chocobutternut!!

And I just caved in and remembered why I love him. Remember why? Read about it here.

If I was still single...

A few days back, we went out and had lunch with mama's college friends - we being dad, mom, Aki, Iya and Miko -- the whole clan.

Tita Sheila brought along her husband and her son, and she's also 7 months pregnant with their 2nd baby. Tita Jolen and Tita Cindy, who are both still single, were commenting on how they cannot imagine going the family way. That is especially since they were watching me and Tita Sheila hover over the kids and try to make conversation over the din of voices. I was eating standing up so I can rock Miko. Kuya suddenly didn't feel well and he was very adamant that he wanted halohalo in a pizza place (wait, what?). Iya was eating on her own, sometimes using her hands to pick up spaghetti. So you see it wasn't really an encouraging scene.

I, wanting to be polite, said "Enjoy nyo lang yung pagiging single. Ang sarap kaya maging single no."

I said that in front of your dad. I also said this a few weeks' back when I met with another friend from college. I told dad about that meetup and conversation as well. He didn't seem to mind, or maybe he wasn't paying attention to my story. Either way, the story was just brushed off and there was no reaction to that statement. But now that days have passed, I'm thinking, was what I said offensive to your dad?

On relationships

"If you have a vision of having a great marriage in the future, you need to establish boundaries in your life today." - Rico Ricafort

Something to ponder on -- relationships

"Why are you going to pursue a relationship if your goal is not marriage?"

Marriage

"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Ruth Bell Graham

sex and marriage

When you get married, please don't make sex your yardstick for love.

Search for the perfect marriage

What makes marriages work? Is it being together all the time? Having the same likes and dislikes? Talking to one another everyday?

I read somewhere that before you get married, you must get to know your partner extensively -- her eccentricities, her family, her life goals, her beliefs and values. But, once you've married her, you must learn to accept your new wife for who she is. You don't marry someone and expect that they will change or that you can change them to your image of a perfect wife.


They say the perfect marriage is between a deaf husband and a blind wife. What do you think, Sweetheart? I believe couples can find reasons to argue all the time. Take Mommy and Daddy for example. We grew up very differently. We have opposing views on things. There are things that Mommy likes but Daddy hates. Our personalities are poles apart. But the trick is to find reasons to stay together -- for me, it's the way Daddy shows his sweet side or the way Daddy takes care of us.


Marriage is a contract between two people and God. Do not forget that.


(truncated bilang tinamad si mommy. I'll try to be more masipag in writing to you, kids. I love you!)

RH/Divorce

Just wanted to let you know that if the Philippine government decided to pass the RH Bill, I can let that slide. But if they pass the Divorce Bill, I will join protests against it. I will not let them humiliate my religious leaders by passing a bill that fractures the sanctity of marriage.