Miko's Questions

You've been asking very difficult questions lately! 😲

1. On your anniversary, are you and dad going to have sex?

Me: Why do you ask that?

Miko: Because you're married

Me: You know, sex is a very intimate act between mom and dad, and so we don't talk about it with other people, not even you.

Me afterwards: Frantically messaging the ninangs if I answered correctly. 

This is the first time you asked about sex in the context of mom and dad so it really caught me off-guard. We talked about it, but never really related it to us personally. I wasn't prepared to be hearing from this question this early!! 😆

2. (Weeks after) When did you and dad have sex?

Me: (in my mind: do I tell him with every child? Do I tell him more than each child? Do I answer him at all?) I repeat my line about sex being an intimate act, and added "but I can tell you one thing -- sex is also a means for reproduction" (I'll talk to him about that some day soon)

3. (Same night as #2) What happens if you and dad (makes gestures of separating)

Dad: (tries to "not understand" the gestures and asks other things to distract him)

Miko: (finally getting his message across despite not verbalizing it. He makes signs for breaking up, separate, etc)

Me: (preparing to answer along the lines of custody, both mom and dad loving you inspite not being together, etc)

Dad: til death do us part

Me: (really shocked that with a single phrase he managed to show how he really values this marriage that much. I proceed to talk about the marriage vows and how we made a promise in front of God and the government that we will stay together. Shared Matthew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man separate", and ended with Miko should not be worried about it because even if dad and I get into disagreements or fights, we will always honor our promise to each other.)

Lord, I thank You for the wisdom that You have given my son. May You cultivate this wisdom and use this for Your glory. May He grow up to use your gifts, and be compassionate, giving to others, and sharing Your Good News. Amen

from dad re: smoking incident

It's been a while since the smoking incident. I've given your dad the cold shoulder for days, but we've made up and didn't talk about it anymore.

One day, we were cuddling and I told him "pag nakita ulit kitang naninigarilyo, di na ako bibili ng gamot mo ha" siyempre it was in jest lang naman, but half meant. It was just so frustrating worrying about someone when they don't care at all.

He answered me with "Wag mo na sabihin, nahihiya nga ako sa iyo eh" and that tugged at my heart. I didn't say anything anymore because, even deep in my heart, I was not gloating. What I was thinking was -- your dad is a huge part of my life. We may not be lovey dovey most of the time, but I will be terribly sad if he is taken from us.

That being said, let me reiterate to please don't start smoking. Nothing good will come out of it.

Love you kids! ❤

April 4

Dad and I made up. As usual, we brushed it under the rug and never spoke about smoking again. 

Pressing issues over the Holy Week was that Ninang Jaye tested positive for covid. Now I don't have close friends. These set of women who we call the ninangs are the closest to what I can consider friends. Don't get me wrong, I get along well with a lot of people. But I envy dad and Iya who makes friends and connections easily. Dad has friends from when he was a kid. I do not. The ninangs are who I have. They are my sisters. So to learn that one of them is having difficulty breathing is heartbreaking for me. 

I've been crying because I was so scared and worried. I watched Grey's Anatomy last night until my eyes could no longer take it and had to close na. I didn't want to think about the worst case scenario. I just want to sleep away the day. 

I was able to speak to Jaye this morning and we had a few more tears. She is weak but fighting. Still able to laugh at things. Lord, please don't take away my sister. Touch her with Your Healing Hand and cleanse her lungs so she can breathe better. This covid thing is really hitting close to home. Please shield my family, most especially Iya and Darwin who have heart problems. Protect them, Lord. 

So during this break, kuya and I had been walking around the streets (masks on) for a bit of exercise. Thank You, Lord, for these moments with my firstborn. 

Dad and I also talked about the possibility of getting another property, i.e. house. Lord, I offer our plans to You. This is for our future, so we are not dependent on our children when we grow old. I hope this plans pleases You, Lord. Make me and my husband strong (physically, mentally and emotionally) to build this dream with You.

April 2 - Smoking

We have a family history of diabetes and stroke in our family. It is clear that I start with this because I want this message to be clear -- I don't want you to smoke.

Smoking does absolutely nothing good for you. It is an addiction that brings with it a plethora of associated diseases.

I'm feeling this passionatw about smoking today because yesterday we caught your dad smoking a cigarette at the store. It makes me so angry because I feel like he keeps forgetting about the two times when he almost died. It might sound narcissistic, but it was my battle, too. I underwent a lot of stress during those times, too. I was so scared of losing dad and having to raise you guys by myself. So him, just throwing all of those away, really gets into my nerves. It's beyond angry, it makes me not want to care anymore. Ofcourse I can't really not care. He's still my husband. But it just makes me 😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬

Bottomline, no smoking please. Cigarettes, vape, weed, anything. None of those. Try to live a healthy life, a happy life, please. I love you all too much to watch you throw your life away. 

Te quiero!

Update: 

Adding my tags, I saw this. And it might be God's way of saying to forgive dad just as He has forgiven us and even sent His son to die for us. Ugh, Lord, some times it's difficult to follow You. But, I will do my best.

April 1

Today I start the day grateful -- 

1. For a restful sleep

2. For (although it was a difficult workday yesterday), I am more hopeful today

3. For the opportunity to have a leisure day, regardless if I want to do "work" stuff like trim nails, answer email, pay bills, etc -- basta leisurely

I hope I feel better today than yesterday. I know spending time with you will do just that. 😍