Times when I would rather formula-feed Miko...

**This is a post in progress; meaning, I will update whenever I remember something to add.**

1. When the office AC is busted and it's freezing and I'm not wearing a nursing top so I need to pull up my blouse to expose my chest and express milk. Bonus feature: I need to get my breastmilk pump accessories from the fridge and put the cold flanges on my breasts. Brrrrr....

2. When lola forgot the instructions to feed Miko the milk thawed from the freezer first. It got spoilt tuloy. That was just sad and frustrating.

3. When nature calls but I cannot run to the bathroom because Miko is still feeding. Imagine what I have to go through if I need to #2!!


Times when I love breastfeeding:
1. When I see the cost of formula milk. So shallow! Eh pero totoo eh! I can no longer imagine spending more than Php1000 a week for infant formula. I'll just save that amount for Miko's first birthday no?

2. When I want short sanity breaks from work. The breastfeeding room in our office has become a quick escape from all the stress. (But then again, I sometimes bring my work to the Diana Room. There was one time I had to eat lunch and catch up on email - all while expressing milk!)

3. Whenever I wake up and realize that Miko is already awake and trying to stand by holding the window sill. I expose my breast and call out a short "psst". Miko turns and, upon seeing my boob, will flash this super cute smile and start running crawling towards me to feed. Ah the joys of motherhood. :)

My realizations and affirmations this week

1. My heart can exist outside of my body in the persona of my kids, and I worry a LOT for their safety. [Update: Read about my fears]

2. Tito Franco is already a teenager and I pray he grows up honest and emotionally secure.

3. Love is a verb. To feel love, I must act it first.


Let me tell you about these in detail when I have the time, okay? Love you kids.

If I was still single...

A few days back, we went out and had lunch with mama's college friends - we being dad, mom, Aki, Iya and Miko -- the whole clan.

Tita Sheila brought along her husband and her son, and she's also 7 months pregnant with their 2nd baby. Tita Jolen and Tita Cindy, who are both still single, were commenting on how they cannot imagine going the family way. That is especially since they were watching me and Tita Sheila hover over the kids and try to make conversation over the din of voices. I was eating standing up so I can rock Miko. Kuya suddenly didn't feel well and he was very adamant that he wanted halohalo in a pizza place (wait, what?). Iya was eating on her own, sometimes using her hands to pick up spaghetti. So you see it wasn't really an encouraging scene.

I, wanting to be polite, said "Enjoy nyo lang yung pagiging single. Ang sarap kaya maging single no."

I said that in front of your dad. I also said this a few weeks' back when I met with another friend from college. I told dad about that meetup and conversation as well. He didn't seem to mind, or maybe he wasn't paying attention to my story. Either way, the story was just brushed off and there was no reaction to that statement. But now that days have passed, I'm thinking, was what I said offensive to your dad?